Something Wrong
There is something wrong here
The pieces of the puzzle don't fit
Any second I might disappear
This mind feels ready to quit
C:I just want to be normal
What that means I don't know
I'm always in a quarrel
I still have hope in the lights glow
The words I hear don't register
I'm caught underwater again
The faces I see all suffer
These wounds too deep to mend
I'm a broken machine
I work well enough not to die
Once again starin at the screen
Daydreaming about ways to fly
C:
The circuits have been scrambled
It must have been something I did
Too many times I gambled
Now I remain hid
C:
Hi,
Good start. :D
I like these lines:
I'm a broken machine
I work well enough not to die.....reminds me of Blade Runner
Suggestions:
Focus the images to communicate one idea. For you, in your mind, they are connected, for me as the listener/reader, they are not: puzzle pieces, light's glow, underwater, machine, screen, flying, circuits, gambling, hiding
load up on the concrete images and make sure they are connected with a theme (preferably the title/what the song is about)
Consider connecting the idea of 24 with the lyrics....right now I don't see it.
Thanks for sharing.
James
Thanks again :)
Essentially it's just about a person who feels like there's something wrong with him and he doesn't know what. You're right the images aren't really connected. I guess I was just trying to describe this state of mind using what images I thought of, not really aware of a thread of connectivity. I definitely have to be more conscious of this. Thanks
