Y12W52 The Ballad of Saint Jerry Garcia Vampire Slayer

Okay, James,

You took the challenge and did an admiral job! Well done!

Neil

Hi Neil,

Thanks for the listen and post :D

James

Now on the top of the "wish I'd written that" list:
Choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil

Love this (although I'm (hopefully) going to learn to never casually toss off side comments in assignments ever again!) - well played and sung.

The only suggestion I'd make, and I'm not even sure it would be worthwhile enough to work, would be to make the second half of the second verse the second half of the first verse (and perhaps changing the "and" in the first tag line):
Jerry was a Sabbatarian born on a Saturday
Born in blood and love near San Francisco Bay
Jerry played the guitar a wood stake in his hand
Because you never know when you’re on the road who might come out to hear the band
Even vampires come out to play

He said the stuff that’s hidden is scary because you don’t know what it does
It’s murky and ambiguous like music, love and drugs
And the vampires came out to play

My reasoning for this is that the first vampire line comes, literally, out of nowhere and placing the "wood stake" (just the guitar at first listen) earlier helps set up the idea. This is all, of course, a quibble. And I do like it fine as is. So don't go "POOF!" changing unless you think it truly makes the song better. :wink:

As always, looking forward to more.

Peace

Hi David,

Thanks for the listen and suggestion.
Now on the top of the "wish I'd written that" list:

Choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil

I can't take credit for that one. I had googled some of Garcia's quotes and interwove these three into the lyrics:

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jerrygarci158230.html#pzQxvWEqVLgPA6pg.99

Stuff that's hidden and murky and ambiguous is scary because you don't know what it does.
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jerrygarci362643.html#DIx4mLBV8ViYQMSe.99

I mean, whatever kills you kills you, and your death is authentic no matter how you die.
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jerrygarci362633.html#g92FDWdoCb16cJcB.99
My reasoning for this is that the first vampire line comes, literally, out of nowhere and placing the "wood stake" (just the guitar at first listen) earlier helps set up the idea.
I understand what you are saying about the wood stake setting up the idea better. However, while it is early in the song, I think the vampires already has two setups. 1 The title, so you know vampires will be in the song already and 2 the first line reference to Jerry being a Sabbatarian
Someone born on Saturday, in vampire hunter lore
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabbatarian
"It was also believed that someone born on a Saturday could see a vampire when it was otherwise invisible"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_hunter

I thought it was great that Garcia WAS ACTUALLY born on a Saturday.
August 1, 1942
http://www.dayoftheweek.org/?m=August&d=1&y=1942&go=Go

.....so the progression of the story line is Garcia is born on a Saturday and is a Sabbatarian, so he sees vampires as he is growing up. As he becomes a teen, he takes up a call to kill vampires and chooses a guitar so he could inconspicuously always carry a stake with him.

In my ballad version, He names his band the Grateful Dead, partly in sarcasm because Grateful Dead means...
The definition there was "the soul of a dead person, or his angel, showing gratitude to someone who, as an act of charity, arranged their burial."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grateful_Dead
...so he's telling the vampires, I'm doing you a favor. :twisted:

..musically too, I like the shorter v1 and then the longer other verses....

.....quite a long explanation, but fun to explore.....but I'll keep my poof on hold in case it feels off later on. :mrgreen:

Thanks again for the listen, post and challenge :wink:

James

Truly inspired writing. Fantastic.

Thanks, John! :D

Love it all, including the music.

Something about this line doesn't sound right to me:

"The Greatful Dead and vampires both do what’s illegal"

It's probably because I immediately think of illegal drugs, which I don't think is relevant to the story.

Maybe something like this?

The Greatful Dead and vampires, they both can be lethal.

Something about this line doesn't sound right to me:
"The Greatful Dead and vampires both do what’s illegal"

Agreed.

How about: The Greatful Dead and vampires both know what’s lethal

POOF Changes made :mrgreen:
The Grateful Dead and vampires both know what’s lethal