Heres another song I wrote for this assignment. I wanted to write a song about an old war movie I recently watched, so here it goes. Also, any names for this song are welcome.
Untitled
1 little, 2 little, 3 little enemies.
4 little, 5 little, 6 little enemies.
7 little, 8 little, 9 little enemies.
All of them dropping like flies.
This time I won't count to 10
To suppress the temper within.
I'll find more, others like me.
Until I own as far as the eye can see.
Our numbers are growing.
They're growing as you can see.
My armies are building.
They're building up behind me.
13 more find their way.
20 more learn to seize this day.
1000 more decide to deny their fate.
And all the rest choose to fight with me.
Our numbers are growing.
They're growing as you can see.
My armies are building.
They're building up behind me.
90 degrees, we turn up the heat.
All your hundreds line up for defeat.
24 hours is all that we need.
200 lives spared for us to claim victory.
Our numbers are growing.
They're growing as you can see.
My armies are building.
They're building up behind me.
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
I don't really feel qualified to review songs here as I'm totally new to song writing. But I've gotta say I like this! It kinda reminds me of the little song by Paul McCartney on the Yellow Submarine album you know the one that goes, 1, 2 ,3, 4, can I have a little more 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, I love you.
I really like this line
13 more find their way.
20 more learn to seize this day.
1000 more decide to deny their fate.
And all the rest choose to fight with me
there must be a word there you could substitute "me" for, to rhyme with fate
But I do like it !! :)
Be excellent to each other & party on dudes!
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=686668
Pierson,
Good Job ! I tend to agree with Rodders though.
there must be a word there you could substitute "me" for, to rhyme with fate
I have a suggestion but I'm not sure if it would work.
Oh Well I'll give it anyways it would go something like:
And all the rest choose to carry the weight
Just a thought
John
Hey rodders, thanks for posting and giving your opinion.
I think I can work with that line, John. I was thinking of something like:
And the rest can help me hold the weight.
Yeah, I think that line works. Thanks for the ideas.
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
Hi Pierson
Good piece - good use of the numbers to show that growing and building throughout the song adds to the menace I got from
Unitil I own As far as the eye can see
Not much to soment on otherthan I agree with Rodders and The Celt about that line but you're aware of it so - Good stuff all round.
bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
