here goes :wink:
None But The Simple - raystrack
It's a silent procession
And no one dreams of dead ends
But if when they're lost on the map
Their hearts are still beating
It's None But The Simple
Fables for Fooling Myself - slowplay
A head on a chest that's not yet hollow
Lying on floors with Tracy Chapman
Nights on a bench in your overcoat
These are but fables for fooling myself
Alone in the tram or leaning against
Doors that are closed
In The Twinkling of Black Lights - pearlthekat
It's a dead choir that you're admiring
Holes in the fabric no one else will notice
These are the songs of the quiet
You are lost like we are, but glowing in the dark
You are lost like we are, but not imaginary, no, you are real.
hope i didn't wreck your titles :D
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Hi straycat,
I really loved this one:
Fables for Fooling Myself - slowplay
A head on a chest that's not yet hollow
Lying on floors with Tracy Chapman
Nights on a bench in your overcoat
These are but fables for fooling myself
Alone in the tram or leaning against
Doors that are closed
All of the lines summoned up very strong images for me of the emptiness of missing somebody you loved. I especially liked "Nights on a bench in your overcoat" - massively sad and evocative. It reminded me a little bit of a young friend telling me that after she'd broken up with her partner she could still smell him on the other pillow for a while....
Cheers,
Chris
Fables for Fooling Myself - slowplay
A head on a chest that's not yet hollow
Lying on floors with Tracy Chapman
Nights on a bench in your overcoat
These are but fables for fooling myself
Alone in the tram or leaning against
Doors that are closed
I like this and read it several times through to understand it. I struggled to understand a physically hollow chest :roll:
This is a real 'keeper' because it grows on you and I'm wondering about the musical vibe being like The Blue Nile - Downtown Lights.
I think the first line of a chorus should be strong to hook people in and for me the second and third lines are the best. For a pop song the Tracy Chapman line would get people's ears open quickly - a good hook.
None But The Simple - raystrack
It's a silent procession
And no one dreams of dead ends
But if when they're lost on the map
Their hearts are still beating
It's None But The Simple
The first line really pulls me in. I get a bit lost in the middle but its an evocative chorus.
Fables for Fooling Myself - slowplay
A head on a chest that's not yet hollow
Lying on floors with Tracy Chapman
Nights on a bench in your overcoat
These are but fables for fooling myself
Alone in the tram or leaning against
Doors that are closed
Agreed, the images are strong & evocative.
I struggle a bit with the fact that fables are stories but the subject isnt fooling himself with stories - more actions.
In The Twinkling of Black Lights - pearlthekat
It's a dead choir that you're admiring
Holes in the fabric no one else will notice
These are the songs of the quiet
You are lost like we are, but glowing in the dark
You are lost like we are, but not imaginary, no, you are real.
A phrase I found jarred a bit was Dead Choir
I think all three are similar - arresting imagery, often poetic, DARK & mysterious . The verses will no doubt illuminate a bit.
Cheers
Ola
“Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you.” - Winnie the Pooh
