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Y7week47 Coolnama, Dylan Barret, Vic Lewis

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(@straycat)
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Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1282
Topic starter  

Oh bother! Somehow I had got it into my head that I was to write choruses, not first verses (see especially radio therapy). Well, I think some might actually work better as first verses anyhow :D
Might re-write or try some more, but wanted to post now, in case I won't have the time later :wink:

Square Bear (by Coolnama)

A bear I once knew took particular views
As a child he played but with Rubik's Cubes,
Refused all bottled and canned food
So Mummy squared his vegetables
And gave up on bubble baths
After he'd moved out, he lived on a square in a cubicle house
If you admired his flair, he'd give you jackets with squares
But he neither cared for round tables nor curly hair
Well, his friends said he was a Square Bear

Miles of Smiles (Dylan Barret)

I must have been walking for miles already
But all I have seen were smiles in the face of catastrophy
And I'm not gonna pause till I find a frown or a scowl or a quivering mouth or a moist eye to lay down beside

That Old Green Shirt (by Vic Lewis)

Well, I might have held my tongue
And I sure held your breath
But, what were you thinking by wearing that old green shirt again
When you told me with every whiskey
How it takes the blame for every time you went down

Radio Therapy (by Vic Lewis)

Finally, it's half past twelve and another day is safely buried
Underneath the pleasant chatter of Horace on the late show
Sara's Blue Hour music provided the flower bouquets
And now Damien's listening to the nightowls' worries
While I'm holding a wake on my couch like at a therapist's
Before turning off the radio at two pm

Well, well, I hope one of these will grow under your pen :D feel free to add and subtract :lol:
Cheers,
straycat.

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Straycat,

I agree that can pass for first verses.

Square Bear (by Coolnama)- Nice angle.....square angle that is :wink: ....It reads a bit like a children's song I keep hearing "Winnie the Pooh"

Miles of Smiles (Dylan Barret)- Reads like a nice call for someone to share their view of reality

That Old Green Shirt (by Vic Lewis)- A friend falls off the wagon?...is drinking again?

Radio Therapy (by Vic Lewis)- Reads like you have a good idea in mind, but I would have to do a lot of radio program research to figure out the meanings/significance of the shows mentioned....and that's not necessarily a bad thing :wink:

"Well, well, I hope one of these will grow under your pen" Nice expression!
:D

James


   
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(@straycat)
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Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1282
Topic starter  

Hi James :D

Thanks for the feedback!
Btw, I'm sorry to have to disappoint you, but (as I would have needed to do some research myself and was too lazy) I simply made up the radio shows :oops: :lol:
Just thought of the general late talk show, the general show dedicated to some certain kind of music and some therapeutic show where people can call in to talk about their worries and maybe get soem advice... :)

Cheers,
straycat.

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Btw, I'm sorry to have to disappoint you, but (as I would have needed to do some research myself and was too lazy) I simply made up the radio shows :oops: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: No disappointment here. They read believable enough for me :wink:


   
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