Oh my... this has been.... challenging :wink: Writing a song about Christmas wasn't so difficult, but to make it fun and sing-along... I really wanted to try that. So this is the most "fun" I managed ... Alas, I think it's turned out trite and quite a mouthful :lol:
Singing Carols in the Streets the Night after Christmas
I tiptoe through the flat
It's the night after Christmas
And you lie underneath
Our patch of forest in the living room
I tug at all of your toes
It's the night after Christmas
And you are fast asleep
On the parquet in the living room
Come now, we'll put our warmest socks on
Wake up, this is no time for keeping
The blanket over your head
Come on, we'll jump down the stairs, run
Over the street and into the park
We'll lie flat on our backs
And watch over the snow flakes
They have just begun falling
You laughed
When I wrote on a foggy window
“I wish it would snowâ€
Outside, skating on a frozen puddle,
I laughed
When I saw it skipping between the stars
Come now, we'll put our warmest clothes on
Run now, they have just begun falling
Sing now, we'll wake up the whole house
We'll sing in the streets and wake up the whole town
We'll sing in the streets and wake up the whole town
And, in the park, catch snow flakes with our mouths
Open your eyes just a little wider
We'll sing all your favourite carols
And all my dearest winter hymns
Open your eyes just a little wider
Come on it has just begun snowing!
Hope you all had and are still having a Merry little Christmas!
Cheerio,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
This captures a wonderful feeling of youth and happy-go-lucky-ness that it really makes me smile each time I read it. Very nice. Especially like the little touches - the "patch of forest in our living room," the "blanket over your head" and the whole "waking up the house" and "waking up the town" of the last stanza. It's hard to create whimsy without sentiment but you do an excellent job!
Hope you got to do some of this for real this past week!
Peace
I'm glad it makes you smile :D
Yes, some of this happened :D Like the ice-skating on a frozen puddle and suddenly noticing that it had begun to snow like I had wished for all along (and written on a foggy window, too) and exactly on the 24th which, for me, was the best Christmas present this year. Unfortunately, it was just a little snow and didn't stay long- but still :D :D :D
Thank you for cheering me up about the lyrics :D
Cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Lovely. Like David said, whimsical but without being twee. And you know something? If I'd seen these lyrics on a piece of paper, with no writer's name or anything, I'd have still known straight away who they came from.
One tiny thing - seems a shame to bring up something so mundane and prosaic, but that's my job - in these lines,
"We'll lie flat on our backs
And watch over the snow flakes
They have just begun falling"
"Look up at the snow flakes" might work a little better....hard to watch OVER something when you're lying on your back, you'd naturally be looking UP....
As for the smile factor.......
:D :D :D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Nice job of painting an image with words :D
...this one line stumped me, because I am not sure what "it" is referring to:
When I saw it skipping between the stars...my guess is the "it" is your wish because the line before you were wishing...yes/no?
Suggestion
but to make it fun and sing-along... I really wanted to try that.
Not that I have a complete handle on this tool, but one way to make the the lyrics "sing-along" is with repetition...maybe you already have the assumption that one part of the song will be re-sung and is the chorus, but I don't find it marked often in your lyrics... For this song, I see "Come on" as the most repeated phrase, but I am not sure that's what you intend as the "hook" of the song....One frame work I heard and try at times it to start with the Title, then work on the "hook" or chorus of the song then fill in the details with the verses.
I enjoyed the read...Thanks for sharing.
-James
hey all:-)
hope you had a good week- mine just swallowed me whole with laughing friends, cake and other fun things :wink:
Vic- you're right about the watch over/lie bit... sounds illogical... but i'd like to keep sth. like "watch over" as i was thinking of the snow flakes as somthing fleeting, delicate, in need of protection :lol: will contemplate this.
thanks for pointing it out!
thanks James :wink: as for the "it" in that line- i was referring to the snow from some lines before, but the wish would work, too :)
thank you for the sing-along tips, too :D gonna keep them in mind :D
happy new year :wink:
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
