I think I missed this week, oh well, guess I'll do it now instead
Have something sorta mismatched but almost there.
One last postcard
Sent by honour guard
An imprint of your fingertips
A seal that your lips have kissed
One last aeroplane
Floating over mountain plains
A letter in a box
I just hope it wont get lost
I sent to you
From Russia With Love
I hope to see you soon
I sent to you
From Russia With Love
Raindrops falling hard
A symphony of disregard
Strangers dancing in the dark
But none of them are you
Six feet underground
Moans heard all around
Fingers stretching to the sky
But no-one there to hear you cry
I sent to you
From Russia With Love
I hope to see you soon
I sent to you
From Russia With Love
Hi Jay,
This is looking really good. :D
Suggestion:
"Raindrops falling hard" raindrops seems like a light rain....
Maybe "sheets of rain falling hard"
or
"Tears and rain falling hard"
or
"Rain and tears falling hard"
This one could use a slight clarification:
Six feet underground
Moans heard all around
Fingers stretching to the sky
But no-one there to hear you cry
Are there no sounds or are the moans drowning out her crying....it's a bit morbid either way and then the sing hopes to see the person again in purgatory or hell?
I think a little tweaking could clarify, but in all it's mostly there and told in an interesting way. Kudos for the working title/story.
James
