Hey all,
I've been in kind of a writing slump for a while. A while back a friend of mine told me about websites that challenge you to write songs on given topics... I happened upon this board... and here I am. The song came surprisingly quick once I started. I've spent the last 2 hours on it and i have to go to going to bed now, so it's kinda short. It felt good to put something down though. Thanks for the motivation!
I dreamt last night that the world was ending
we had two weeks left on earth
I was scared so I ran to you
But you were no where to be found
Where were you when I needed you
The omen I dreamt is now ringing true
Something told me you were leaving me
It took a dream to make me see
And in my dream i saw broken man
He realized he would die alone
so when I woke up and you're clothes were gone
I decided to move on
So long baby I don't need you
oh i'll go find somebody new
so no more omens of an ending world
there are only good dreams left for me
Great turn, Oliver.
I love your vocal on this, and the way you've juxtaposed the cheery tune with the morose lyrics. (Brilliant morose lyrics, might I say.)
One thing I would like to nitpick on- it doesn't matter that much, but where would the chorus be in this one?
Forgive me if you don't usually write choruses.
I love the track, though.
Shady
Take care,
Casey
Thanks Shady,
I usually do write choruses into songs. I kinda meant the "where were you" melody to come across as the chorus. I think the brevity of the verse kinda made that confusing though. I wrote it as: verse, chorus, verse, chorus. I have always had a problem making my parts too short. I'm working on it though.
Thanks for the feedback!
Hi Oliver and welcome to the SSG!
Great start....can't really find any fault with this. Except....I wanted more! Sounded like you were just getting into your stride and then...well, you were nowhere to be found!
Joking aside, great first post. Like the mp3 a lot - as Shady wrote, nicely sung and played. To which I'll add, nice use of harmony - just enough. More would have been overkill.
Hope to read and hear a lot more from you!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
a warm welcome shout from me, too!
aw, beautiful mp3 (esp. the "to make me seeeee" part :) )! i think i'll say nothing more and just add exclamation marks to Shady's first couple of sentences :D
that was fun, thanks for sharing!
hope to see you more often around here!
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Hi Oliver,
Good start :D I like the melody and delivery.
I also like the first 3 sections. The last didn't seem to gel with the others. I was getting a vibe like David Bowie's "The Man Who Sold the World" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSnXjE66tvQ and really liking it, but ended a bit abruptly.
Thanks for sharing.
James
