Little rough around the edges, but it was that kind of year.
http://www.soundclick.com/neilstuart
OLD FRIENDS
My old jackets kinda worn
wrinkled leather, lining torn
but it fits me and it's not easy to say
it's lived its life, time to throw it away
old shoes on my feet
fit like gloves, feel so sweet
heaven knows they've seen better days
the soles are gone, sad to say
They're like old friends
sad to see them go
old friends and I know
I won't see them again
my old friends
this old hat, sittin' on my head
wear it all the time, except when I go to bed
got some holes, when it rains, it leaks
it's seen better days, long past its peak
and my old jeans, they were once blue
you can see my knees and I know it's true
they're holding together by a single thread
I guess it's time to put them to bed
They're like old friends
sad to see them go
old friends and I know
I won't see them again
my old friends
best friend I grew up with, lived on the same street
games we played, how we'd compete
seems like we were laughing just yesterday
his kids called, said he'd passed away
everything has a beginning, everything an end
everyone has their share of old friends
things we were once told, we learn to be true
everything old is once again new
old friends
sad to see them go
old friends and I know
I won't see them again
my old friends
Neil,
Sounding good. :D I think you had a good idea about getting rid of inanimate objects first then introducing the loss of the friend. It help soft the weight of a heavier message.
Suggestion:
#1 I wonder if it could come across more personal if the objects each had an example/shared experience with the person who dies at the end.....jacket leather -road trip of '75 with friend, shoes -business trip to Germany with friend.....etc.
#2 "everything old is once again new"
The way this is worded doesn't ring true...maybe.....everything old must make way for the new.
#3 I'm not sure if your musical "style" is by choice or default. If it's a sound you are going for, then disregard this last observation.
Last observation: Are you aware that you go back and forth between two chords either every measure or every two beats in the last songs you've written? "Old Friend" "Dead Tired" "It was 19 something" "Welcome to my Monday"
Suggestion: If you want to try to add a bit of variety to your sound, consider a 4 chord or 3 chord progression....different chords not repeating back and forth between two....
.....again please disregard if it is something you are already aware of or do with intention, but if not, it might make for some fun experimenting for you.
James
beautiful and poignant :D
kept thinking "I know, I love my old clothes best, too" and "it's awful when you finally have to throw them away and go buy new ones (which will never feel as comfy and as your own)", until I reached the part about the friend. stopped me in my tracks. very sad, but beautifully written.
usually I'm all for details (like those James suggests), but with your song here, I think it's great the way it is. added details might weigh it down and blur the focus, the simple and true sentiment.
thanks for sharing!
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Really beautiful song, wish I'd written it :roll:
In response to James and Cat, it think it would be better not to tie in the last two verses with the things mentioned in the first four verses.
Not spelling out what you want to say but instead keeping it a little bit vague is what I like about this song.
I have two small suggestions to make:
"and my old jeans, they once were blue"
If you switch the two words in red, the rhythm flows more natural. (I assumed the rhythm from the other verses.)
"seems like we were laughing just yesterday
today his kids called, he passed away"
The word 'today' gives more emphasis on the difference between the present and the past.
