A long break from writing ended by a quick draft, testing the creative waters.
Your suggestions and feedback are welcome.
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Mr Cole
The power's out
The air is still, the night is long
And though the winter's almost gone
This doesn't look good
For Mr Cole
The lights are out
A candle flickers, the only sign of life
He's frail and slow at eighty-five
We'd help him if we could
Old Mr Cole
And in the morning
The sun will rise again
Warm our bones and pale skin
Make us human again
And in the morning
The sun will rise again
Warm our bones and pale skin
Make us human again
The power's out
Generators run on fumes
Children shiver in their bedrooms
Nervous parents wonder if they should
Look for Mr Cole
The heating's out
No logs or kindling left to fire
Mr Cole lights up one last cigar
In his little cabin made of wood
Oh Mr Cole
The fire burned fast and it burned hot
The whole town huddled round
Thanks to him no lives were lost
But Mr Cole was nowhere to be found
And in the morning
The sun will rise again
Warm our bones and pale skin
Make us human again
And in the morning
The sun will rise again
Warm our bones and pale skin
Make us human again
Hi Martin,
Good start :D I kind of had a feeling where you were going with this then I thought you didn't go there....but you did.....maybe :? I like to think it was about the personification of "coal"......Were you respelling "coal" as "cole" to make the listener not think of "coal"? LOL.....oh well when sung, coal will sound like cole or bi se versa :wink: .....
......then again, this reads as one of those "Don't smoke in bed, fall asleep and burn the house down"....so maybe that is your story and the bystanders were warmed by the house burning down. :?
.....either way, I like it :wink:
Thanks for sharing.
James
Hi James,
I wasn't sure about naming him Cole actually. At first it was Mr Tibbs. Any name would do but as you noticed I ended up with one that sounds like coal. I guess I might rename him again. Mr Hogg, Mr Gray, Mr Judd?
It wasn't meant to be a comedy accidental death song (although it could work that way); actually I was aiming for a little bit more serious than that, with the tired old man nobly deciding to sacrifice himself and his cabin so the others could be warm. But thanks for the feedback anyway, it's probably a few rewrites away from what I like to call a finished song. :)
I was aiming for a little bit more serious than that, with the tired old man nobly deciding to sacrifice himself and his cabin so the others could be warm.
Interesting. It could still be an accidental death...not really comedy....and the people can still gather around to be warm by the burning house....as pragmatists would.....but the idea that he would burn himself alive to keep neighbors warm is a bit too far of a stretch to believe.....
.........he could sacrifice his house -if that was necessary- but even so, he would/could stand outside the house, no need for him to die....no one benefits from his death....
......BTW I like the name Mr. Cole a lot; much better than the alternatives because of the potential symbolic meaning.
At any rate, it looks like the makings of an interesting song :wink:
