Oh my, it seems to have been a while. So much happening at home, I've hardly even touched a guitar this year. Things seem to have settled down a little though, so maybe it's time to start playing and writing on a regular basis again.
This song's sort of come together over the course of a few weeks/months - the germ of the idea came when I was talking about songwriting with my partner, Marilyn. We were listening to a gospel-influenced song of John's (Celt's) called "Take Me To The Water" (I think?) and she said, "How come you (meaning ME) can't write anything like that?" I sort of brushed it off at the time with a, "Hah, I can write in ANY style....!" type comment....then later got to thinking. That's not true - I have about five different styles. 60's influenced pop, 70's style rock, Dylan influenced folk, blues and fingerpicked ballads. Hmm, maybe it's time to branch out a little. I got the chorus and the first verse (or something like it, anyway!) back then but never wrote it down.
Next thing that influenced this particular song was hearing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" sung by the crowd at a rugby match - brought back the chorus and verse to mind, I thought, "hmm, maybe I should finish it off...." - then got side tracked.
Then the assignment was posted, then for some reason last weekend "Showboat" was on the TV - heard Paul Robeson singing, and things just sort of clicked. Been adding to and revising the lyrics for a couple of days, and trying to think of what music to put to this. You know what? It doesn't actually NEED instrumentation....it works pretty well acapella.
Anyway, enough rambling (although I always like to read about how a song was born and developed, especially here!) and here's the song......I'd like to think it's what we used to call at school (a very long pre-politally correct time ago!) a N***o Spiritual song, along the lines of "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" or "Ol' Man River"..........
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Carry Me Home
Carry me home, carry me home, carry me 'cross the river,
Carry me home, carry me home, take me to my Lord.
Carry me home, carry me home, carry me 'cross the river,
Carry me home, carry me home, take me to my Lord.
I see no church but I hear bells ringing, way across the water,
I see no angels but I hear singing, way across the water.
Carry me home, carry me home, carry me 'cross the river,
Carry me home, carry me home, take me to my Lord.
Carry me home, carry me home, carry me 'cross the river,
Carry me home, carry me home, take me to my Lord.
The river is deep and the river is wide, but I will cross the water,
I will make it to the other side, I will cross the water.
Carry me home, carry me home, carry me 'cross the river,
Carry me home, carry me home, take me to my Lord.
Carry me home, carry me home, carry me 'cross the river,
Carry me home, carry me home, take me to my Lord.
Though the day is over there is no night, across the water,
My eyes are closed but I see the light, across the water,
So carry me home, carry me home, carry me 'cross the river,
Carry me home, carry me home, take me to my Lord.
Carry me home, carry me home, carry me 'cross the river,
Carry me home, carry me home, take me to my Lord.
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hi Vic
Really like this one a lot. Sometimes (as you're well aware) writing lyrics with very few words can be very hard but I think you did this very well. I especially like the last verse:
Though the day is over there is no night, across the water,
My eyes are closed but I see the light, across the water,
Wonderful, wonderful lines.
The first and last verses work very well as they play out the "opposites" that songwriters seem to thrive on ("Hello/Goodbye") and I can't help thinking that the second verse would probably stand out a bit more if it did as well. Maybe something like:
The river is deep and the river is wide, but I will cross the water,
But it's just a heartbeat to the other side, and I will cross the water.
Just a thought.
Hope we'll get the chance to hear this one.
Peace
The river is deep and the river is wide, but I will cross the water,
But it's just a heartbeat to the other side, and I will cross the water.
I think the repetition of the word "but" would make it sound awkward.
I liked the song very much and can picture singing or listening to it. It's the kind of song where an audience will spontaneously join in and sing along.
Nice one Vic. As the others have said, no trouble imagining a choir singing that one. :)
Like David, I was also very taken with the lines:
"Though the day is over there is no night, across the water,
My eyes are closed but I see the light, across the water,"
It also seems very appropriate for this week. Monday saw me inside a church for the first time in many years singing hymns at the funeral for a friend who was himself very religious and would have appreciated that song. He was a skilled bell ringer too, and would have liked the idea of crossing the water to those bells very much.
In a further coincidence, I wrote a song for last week (on the Earth theme) which I'm hoping to record soon, which also has a "going home " theme. Totally different treatment though. :)
Hoping to see and hear more of you here again.
Chris
Coincidences abound!
But first, very nice song Vic, with or without some further suggestions.
Lately I heard Mckenzie George (same age as my youngest) on youtube and I learned House of Gold. It boogies, or rocks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuQRkO_k7M8
There's so much good about your song, that I won't patronize - just a super fine job! :D I don't know the tune or how you will sing it, but I can see myself, IMHO just changing the chorus to:
Carry me home, carry me home, carry me 'cross the river,
Carry me home, carry me home, take me to my Lord.
Carry me home, carry me home, to my home 'cross the river,
Carry me home, carry me home, to LIVE with my Lord. :wink:
Your conservation or economy of words, while exercising your gift of words is exceptional and you may have wanted repetition. Mostly when I was critiqued, I was cited for that, and developed the painting of a bigger picture or expanding the content and the horizon or breadth, while conserving or preserving the syllabification and not overloading the melody.
So, it is like a photo or a painting. It may be conservative or stark within a space for a reason, and certain features may repeat, or you can use the space like the background in the Mona Lisa. It doesn't detract from the subject, but enhances and broadens the scope of the subject, or work of art. Lyrics are actually more important than the visual arts, they are unseen, but make the work along with the music, which is life and breath.
I know a painter could argue, well you can't hear my painting, so I use colour and imagery. Same with songs, I see little difference in the rationale behind the art, but I tend to like lyrics and music more, where you are creating audible and mental pictures. I also like cars, putting a little more horsepower into the same displacement. :lol:
Like a bird on the wire,
like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.
The river is deep and the river is wide, but I will cross the water,
But it's just a heartbeat to the other side, and I will cross the water.
I think the repetition of the word "but" would make it sound awkward.
Absolutely right about that. Should have been more awake when I wrote it! Fortunately there are all sorts of ways around it, like:
The river is deep and the river is wide, but I will cross the water,
You know it's just a heartbeat to the other side, and I will cross the water.
All ultimately up to Vic, of course!
Peace
Hi Vic,
+1 Great lyrics!
Thanks for sharing :D
James
Thanks, as always for the kind comments. I'm going to try and record an MP3 tomorrow (Sunday) if I get the time - the song's been on my mind for a few days, been trying to work out harmony vocals in a key that'll work for me.
Second verse seems to be the weakest one... I'm thinking this fix might work, without changing too much, I do like David's "just a heartbeat" suggestion - works well in a couple of ways, so I may yet get round to using it. But I'm thinking....
Though the river is deep and the river is wide, I will cross the water,
I will make it to the other side, I will cross the water.
Not changing much....it's just in the way the lyrics are actually put across and accented.
But thanks again for all the kind words.....it's going to be fun recording this.
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
