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Y9 W9 Shopping Song

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(@john-sargent)
Noble Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 946
Topic starter  

The task this week was to write a song about shopping. This is about someone that probably shouldn't be shopping, a person that guages their station in life by what they own. He/she has no concern about what they owe. Bankruptcy attorneys are waiting for your call.

There are items for sale
That I don't yet own
I want them, I need them
They'd make my life whole.

I looked through the paper
The price is so low
I want them, I need them
I have no control

Chorus

There are so many things that I must possess
What I own is a measure of my success
Can't live without it, I'll have to borrow
Buy it today, pay for it all
Tomorrow

The Lord hasn't yet bought me
A Mercedes Benz
I want one, I need one
Make it silver or black

I would drive it around
And show all my friends
I want one, I need one
Yes, that's what I lack

Chorus

Diamonds, watches
And gold jewelry
I want them, I need them
Having it all is my goal

I can't pay them off
But they look great on me
I want them, I need them
And don't mind the toll

chorus

5 Star restaurants
Serve exquisite cuisine
I want it, I need it
I have a connoisseur's pallet

Oh, to be driven around
In a fine limousine
I want it, I need it
What's in your wallet

Chorus

The best things in life, the best things in life
The best things in life are not things.


   
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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Hi MrEWorm,

Good start :D Clear and focused idea. Materialism is universal enough...

.....I'm surfing online right now at betterworldbooks.com b/c they now offer free shipping; which may not be a big deal for those living in the US, but for those living overseas, it's an offer too good to pass :wink:

Suggestions:

There are items for sale
That I don't yet own
I want them, I need them
They'd make my life whole.

I looked through the paper > I searched/surfed the Internet or I surfed on Craig's List and eBay
The price is so low > With prices so low
I want them, I need them
I have no control

Chorus

There are so many things that I must possess
What I own is a measure of my success
Can't live without it, I'll have to borrow
Buy it today, pay for it all
Tomorrow

The Lord hasn't yet bought me > The Lord hasn't yet blessed me with
A Mercedes Benz
I want one, I need one
Make it silver or black

I would drive it around
And show all my friends > Show off to my friends
I want one, I need one
Yes, that's what I lack > But there's more that I lack

Chorus

Diamonds, watches
And gold jewelry
I want them, I need them
Having it all is my goal

I can't pay them off
But they look great on me
I want them, I need them
And don't mind the toll

chorus

5 Star restaurants
Serve exquisite cuisine
I want it, I need it
I have a connoisseur's pallet

Oh, to be driven around
In a fine limousine
I want it, I need it
What's in your wallet

Chorus

The best things in life, the best things in life
The best things in life are not things. >I don't get this last line b/c the whole song is saying the best things in life ARE things :?
Maybe "The best things in life are not FREE"

Thanks for sharing.

James


   
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(@davidhodge)
Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 4472
 

Hi Mr. E

I'm good with the "Lord buying the Mercedes Benz" part as I read it as a tribute to the Janis Joplin, Bob Neuwirth, and Michael McClure song. Wouldn't change that part at all.

I agree with James that the outro lines are totally at odds with the rest of the song. If they're there to make sure the audience gets your point, they really don't have to be. If they're there to fill the space of the outro, James' suggestion is a good one. You could also go with something like:

The best things in life, the best things in life
The best things in life are mine mine mine (or "will be mine mine mine" might be better)

Good work. Any ideas as to what sort of music you hear with this?

Peace


   
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(@john-sargent)
Noble Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 946
Topic starter  

Thanks for the read and suggestions. I don't have a melody for it. Normally I write songs for me to perform in a folk music setting so arangements will pretty much consist of voices, guitar, uke and harps. When I finish one of these songs, I always have to ask myself "Do you want to perform this in public?"
I did have fun rhyming cuisine and limousine as well as wallet and pallet (ouch). This one will go into my "unfinished" file for now.


   
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(@john-sargent)
Noble Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 946
Topic starter  

Hi Mr. E

I'm good with the "Lord buying the Mercedes Benz" part as I read it as a tribute to the Janis Joplin, Bob Neuwirth, and Michael McClure song. Wouldn't change that part at all.

You are correct about the reference to "Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz".
You may have missed another cultural reference. In the US there has been a long running series of commercials for Visa that features Vikings pillaging shopping malls. The last line in the commercial is always "What's in your wallet?"


   
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(@davidhodge)
Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 4472
 

Got that one too (and those have definitely been on for ages), but I wasn't sure, based on his suggestion for a re-write, that James was familiar with the Mercedes-Benz song, so I thought I'd give him a reference.

Peace


   
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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Got that one too (and those have definitely been on for ages), but I wasn't sure, based on his suggestion for a re-write, that James was familiar with the Mercedes-Benz song, so I thought I'd give him a reference.
Peace
You are correct about me missing both references...I hadn't heard of either one :P
Thanks for the FYI :wink:


   
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