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Year 4 Week 31, Silk and Blue

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(@manitou)
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Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 121
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This is about how all good things come to an end, and eventually you come to realise it, but its always too late. In Arizona, its hard to take summer positivly :D

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On a beauty- sunny day, I would look into your eyes,
In eyes like silk and cloudless blue, I could see the coming storm.
And every day I held you close, it drenched me- to the skin.
And Everywhere I hadnt been, was warm and comforting.

I~ I look Off into that cool breeze and I, I fall upon my knees,
When the summer comes, when the daytime light fades just in time,
When the summer comes.

Id wear my favorite ugly hat, to keep the sun off our blue sky,
That sky was an eyeless hurricane, that I saw bearing down.
And every day I held you close, it pulled me from your arms,
And shelter for the coming wind, was quickly running out.

I~ I look Off into that cool breeze and I, I fall upon my knees,
When the summer comes, when the daytime light fades just in time,
When the summer comes.

We were born to play all day, dazzling grass and far off graves,
When I could stare into your eyes, without a drop of pain,
But now in september, your storm drowns my skin,
peeling flesh from sunburned sin, peeling off my born rags,

I~ I look Off into that cool breeze and I, I fall upon my knees,
When the summer comes, when the daytime light fades just in time,
When the summer comes.

And I know, I know Ill feel that gentle touch again,
When winter leaves and I am dry,
My failing eye inside the storm,
Will take me further down...
When the summer comes.

SHUT UP ABOUT IRON MAIDEN SOLOS AND GO PRACTICE!
-Manitou


   
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 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

Manitou

Nice song Where I live summer is charised as a brief
respite from the cold winter that always seems to last
too long. It would appear to be much different from
your prospective. One small thing in the opening line
shouldn't it read "On a beautiful sunny day"

You have some nice imagery here

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
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(@manitou)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 121
Topic starter  

Yeah, i agree about that line, its weak. if I change it to Humanity it fits well though with the rest. and thanks for the imput... ive always strived to try to show things with a song more than tell you something and it seems like its working :) And that first one about the Beauty-summer, its a reult of how I was singing it, so its how I typed it hehe... I get a lot of little grammar problems like that. but what can you do , ya know? hehe.
Thanks for the imput guys, i think this ones a keeper, Partly cuz im too lazy to empty my trashcan but thats another story entirely...

SHUT UP ABOUT IRON MAIDEN SOLOS AND GO PRACTICE!
-Manitou


   
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