Well in an effort to post something for week 1 I'll put up
this completely unfinished work.
Between The Lines
(G)It's a dark and gray No(Em)vember morn
(C)But I can see through the(D) lies
(G)I feel the sting of the(Em) rose's thorn
(C)As the flower slowly (D)dies
(C)Why can't you (D)see
(G)This is not the way(Em) it should be
(C)Why must I(D) read between the (Em)lines
I don't mean to be unkind to you
But there are thing that must be said
How am I to put my trust in you
When I'm being misled
Why can't you say
The same today as you did yesterday
Why must I read between the lines
John
Looking good so far, John.
Are you going for a bridge and then final verse/chorus or just the third verse/chorus?
A suggestion for the last chorus, especially since you nicely tweaked the first line of the first to from "see" to "say" might be:
Why can't you stay
The same today as you did yesterday
Why must I read between the lines
Just a thought. Looking forward to getting more.
Peace
Looking good so far, John. Strange - there's a lot of echoechoechoecho in here......
I was wondering what you were looking for to finish off - another verse or a bridge? Either way, I love David's suggestion for the final chorus - I also liked the subtle tweak between the two you've already got. Not much to add really - DH beat me to it!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Thanks Guys
I think David's line is excellent even if it tends to change the
original intent of the song somewhat. Maybe that would be a
good thing in it would give a little distance from the inspiration
for the lyrics. I was thinking about just a third verse/chorus but
may take a shot at a bridge/verse/chorus if I can make it fit
musically.
John
Hi John,
Good to see another Celt song, I'd been keeping my fingers crossed for an appearance from you in this inaugural week of year 7. Initially, I wasn't sure if it was about being lied to, or about the frustration of being given a dose of the old "If you loved me you'd know what I mean/feel/think..." . But I guess it can be either or both.
Interesting and neat suggestion from David about see, say and stay - definitely worth giving that one a shot. I was also intrigued by the way you finished the chorus. When I tried strumming through I wasn't paying close enough attention, and I just automatically gave it the usual old V to I cadence to finish and played D to G, instead of what was intended - D to Em - which of course gives a completely different feel. In fact I managed to stuff up the whole effect by missing the minor chord. :oops: So I'm looking forward to hearing what you've done with it when you play and sing. The chance to have a crack at playing and singing something before hearing how it's intended to be done is proving to be an interesting exercise.
Cheers,
Chris
Why can't you say
The same today as you did yesterday
Why must I read between the lines
If the intent is to show that she doesn't tell him she loves him (as she used to), it does change the intent.
I think you need one or two more verses to bring that out . . .
if that's where you are going with it . . . but I might have misread the intent
Anyway, here's my crack at it . .
It's not what you say that
causes the fuss
It's more of what's missing
what's missing between us
or
It's not the words you say
that cause a fuss
It's the words missing and
what's missing is us (like the word . . . us)
(human interaction is soooo . . . . umm . . . nonmathematical . . . so inexact . . . give me a calculator and a problem to solve anyday)
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
