Respond however you'd like. I'm a big boy and think I can handle it. ;]
And to give some info; I was absolutely inspired to write this today after hearing 'Masters of War' by Bob Dylan. It just smacked me across the face and I had goose bumps. I had to write. If you've heard that song than this one is close in terms of arrangement so applying that song's timing would make it easier to read.
* Yes, I know it's short. Didn't have a lot of time when I started it but I will probably add to it. Anyways, this is for now...
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Untitled; 08.17.05
How the hell do you know
It's true what you've learned
When they've been feedin' you lies
Since the day you were born
I've asked you to question
These thoughts before
But you rolled your eyes
And chose to ignore
Me, I don't understand
How you're so sure we're wrong
Without giving it a chance
I bet you've already
Turned off this song
That's your choice to make
And my opinion to say
That this country I love
has become soulless and plain
I'ved used to think ...
I just didn't fit in
Belonged to a different time
But now I know that's bullshit
Here now is my time
For me to be here
My glow is important
Cuz the light is too rare
But sooner than later
We will gather round
And the whole world will shake
As we bring it on down
- mdr
"And under the spreading chestnut tree
I sold you and you sold me" - orwell
hey, I personally really like it, its got alot of potential... I've tried many times to write a song with the same sort of feel and meaning to it, but it never reallyworked, so I'm very glad to see that you could do it. :) Very pleased indeed... I would love to heard it though, I tried to imagine some sort of rhythm in my head and i just couldn't pick it up, is there anyway you can help or show me.. I dont know chords tho, So i may be askin for awhole lot, but do you have a microphone or somethin you could record it and put it up somewhere? if not, i still love the lyrics.:)
I know it wasn't reason,
That made me do what wasn't right
but sometimes my heart falls prone
to the nature of your spite.
Dude I dig it ... and thanks for the "Masters of War" hint .. that really helped me figure out how to read the song.
At first glance, I thought it was a rap song ... DON"T ASK.
The only thing is that it too closely fits the meter of Dylan's song. So don't play it with a Dm C chord progression or he's gonna sue your a$$! :)
Or least change the rhythm up ... thought it sounds good played like that.
Couple meek suggestions ... change BS .. i know you shortened it for the forum .. but ... I would change it too simply sh*t or another word. Bullsh*t just doesn't give it that sting like I think it should in the song.
Also, I can see where you are kind of going with this song .. but you really need to explain why you are so disenchanted with what you see around you and why there needs to be a change. 'Cuz as I read it now .. it just kind of sounds like some dude who just doesn't agree with something and thinks that something should be done about it. What? We don't need a solution in the song (that would nice though :) ) But we, the listeners, need to know what to be alarmed about.
I hope I got my point across .. damn Vodka.
:)
Cheers man .. and I hope to hear an .mp3 or see what else you do with this song. Kind of sux no one else really took the time to reply to this, but will reply to same old love song over and over again.
Oh yeah ... I know this a "drone" song ... so no choruses .. etc..
But at least put a space in between verses :)
Oh yeah ... (the sequel) ... you should also check out Pearl Jam's version of Masters of War .. it's also pretty nicely done. It's on the Live at Benaroyal Hall CD ...
There really aren't any verses. It was something, like I mentioned, hit me at the moment and I rode the wave. Didn't bother to put it in a drawer or in a trash can. Decided to post it.
And also to the post of fleshing out the meaning and whatnot ... not my cup of tea. I have no messages for anyone. They should all be taken for what they mean to you listening. Music is not a bully pulpit. It's a ... guiding light, I suppose. An accent to life; not the whole thing, y'know?
- mdr
"And under the spreading chestnut tree
I sold you and you sold me" - orwell
They should all be taken for what they mean to you listening. Music is not a bully pulpit. It's a ... guiding light, I suppose. An accent to life I hear that. I like songs that aren't direct so I can relate to it.
I noticed you're a newbie, so, welcome to guitarnoise!
I liked it a lot. Especially this:But sooner than later
We will gather round
And the whole world will shake
As we bring it on down That's awesome. I had the tune of Stone Sour's "Idle Hands" in my head while reading it (if you're into that.) Keep it up!
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
