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Drawing You

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(@martin-6)
Honorable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 418
Topic starter  

Ok, this is more of a poem than a song right now but someday I will try to put music to it.
There are some lines that could be more problematic in a singing situation than they are in a reading one, however I feel very pleased with the outcome and I wanted to share it with you all.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Drawing You"

On those lazy Sunday mornings you always would refuse
To let me take my paintbrush and adorn you with tattoos
The world has turned and marked us both since those halcyon days
But you left in me a picture that time cannot erase

I'm no Caravaggio or even a Matisse
But I know my subject well and sketch it piece by piece
I have an eye for detail and my memory never fails
I paint to feel the gentle scratching of your fingernails

I've a good sense of perspective, a plan in my mind's eye
A geometric formula on which I can rely
It's not the golden ratio that Leonardo used
This unique set of proportions only works for drawing you:

The curve I trace that forms your lips is one twelfth of your back
The shadow of your shoulder blade is half the blackest black
The angle of your cheekbone cuts the paper like a knife
The sun reflecting off your hair sets the scene alight

The texture of your skin becomes the softest of cross-hatches
White as snow from head to toe (except for certain patches!)
The birthmark on your bottom is a charcoal smudge of grey
And the fold beneath your buttocks is twice as dark a shade

The contours of your body are engraved within my mind
Pencil-marks and shadings I could trace if I were blind
A treasure map of lines and ink defines your facial form
And the calmest pair of sea blue eyes concealing such a storm

I don't have moving pictures or a photo I can find
Just a thousand sketches on the canvas of my mind
Ever since you left this world I've nothing else to do
Gone but not forgotten, I'm forever drawing you.


   
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(@beans7178)
Reputable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 174
 

DUUUDDDEEE that was amazing and music should be a sicnh, i mean if u really wanted to itd be easy. Im not gonna tell you what i would do because it is your peice. I thought that was amazing that captured everythign i try to be as a writer. REally good dude i dont really know much else to say except that im very very impressed. excellent that is one of those thigns that will go into the i wish i wrote file.

chec out my music
http://www.myspace.com/spencerbeasleymusic
pm if u like it or send me a message on myspace


   
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(@martin-6)
Honorable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 418
Topic starter  

wow thanks! I am pleased with it but to be honest I feel like it is only 95% finished. For music I am just going to listen to a lot of ballads and "long songs" until I hear something that sounds right. In terms of meter it kind of fits to the rhythm of Hotel California, but that chord progression is too eerie.


   
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(@cooker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 112
 

M6,,some very good lines wriiten...I had no trouble "imagining"...felt like I was lead around on a tour of your experience......really liked this line and wish I wrote it,"

"A treasure map of lines and ink defines your facial form
And the calmest pair of sea blue eyes concealing such a storm"

Musically........think Dylan!.....cooker

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"


   
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(@nothing_to_lose)
Active Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 8
 

Wow man really great stuff. It's very poetically written. I agree with cooker, consider something Dylanesque to go with these lyrics.

Why *are* there so many songs about rainbows?


   
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(@nolongerme)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 475
 

SCHWEET!


   
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