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Love Will - any comments

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(@oasisman)
Eminent Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 25
Topic starter  

This song has been on here before a while ago, I've modified and modified it and then entered it into a competition and here are the comments from the judges.

The competition was the 'Festival of Original Music Song Competition 2005 (Lyrics Section)'.

Judge 1:
Well paced, interesting lyrics, which flow easily. This song has the potential to become a popular 'wedding song'. I like it a lot, I can hear the music and some rich golden voice singing!

Jude 2:
Good blunt, to the point, set of lyrics. I can't quite work out as to how the 'double chorus' at the end would enhance the song. Stick to the one - that's what a chorus is all about - and you'll have the audience singing along with it, in their minds.

Here's the lyrics:

Love Will…
Copyright © 2005 Peter John King

(Verse 1)
Would you like to see
All my special qualities?
Please don't deny it
But when you find out
They are way too profound
You better say
You better say it out loud

(Bridge)
And all this time
I've been wishing that you
That you were my bride
Cos everyone knows
That you ‘ought to show
What it takes
To get through the night
That you finally realise

(Chorus)
Love will take you by the hand
Show you what you can stand
Love will show you what to see
Show you how to believe
Love, Love, Love

(Verse 2)
Would you like to be
All the things that you have dreamed?
You won't deny it
But when you find out
They are too far away
You better not run
You better not run away

(Repeat Bridge)

(Repeat Chorus)

(Middle)
Love, Love, Love, Love will
Love, Love, Love, Love will
Love, Love, Love, Love will
Love, Love, Love will

(Middle 2 - Acoustic using Chorus chords, build-up to Chorus)

(Chorus 2)
Love will take you by the hand
Show you what you can stand
Love will show you what to see
Show you how to believe

(Repeat Chorus 2)

(Chorus 3)
Love will tell you what to bring
Tell you that you can sing
Love will seem just like a gun
It can hurt anyone
Love will be such a blast
If you let go a trust in me

(Outro)

In relation to the comments made by 'Judge 2', I agree, I don't know why I put in the chorus at the end, I just thought that you know how some songs have some different lyrics at the end and then fade out. That's the effect I was going for and that's why I've got 'Repeat Chorus 2' which is the main chorus and then 'Chorus 3'. Maybe I should have marked 'Chorus 3' as the 'Outro'.

Does anyone agree or disagree with the Judges or have and comments about the song.

Cheers.


   
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(@martin-6)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 418
 

My only comment is about the 'Middle' section. On paper, I don't like it one bit. It's what I call 'lazy writing', for obvious reasons. Of course, this kind of structure can also be very successful (e.g. the chorus of James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" which I'm sure everyone has heard). I just found it quite unusual that something like this would find its way into, and even be praised in, a lyrics competition. This to me would be an example of a song working well *despite* the lyrics, rather than because of them.


   
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(@oasisman)
Eminent Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 25
Topic starter  

The middle is hard to describe, each line is only one bar long, and I can see them sung a little by the main singer but more by backing vocals with a chorus effect.

I know it doesn't look right on paper, but I guess the judges knew it was probably something like what I've described above.

Cheers.


   
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(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 8184
 

Only thing I can think of is the bridge might be too long, especially if it's repeated. Think this is a song that people would need to hear to understand. Hope that helps. Good song and subject and I agree with the judges.


   
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(@oasisman)
Eminent Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 25
Topic starter  

Cool, the bridge is hard to understand if you can't hear the music, all I can say is that the bass note starts a decline in the first few notes of the bridge and then it really does build up to the chorus.

What I'll try and do is a quick recording of just guitar so people can get an idea of what it sounds like, I'll post it soon.

Cheers.


   
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