I won't go into the background of this but shall I just say its' about politics and anyone can read into what ever they like ..I'll leave that up to the reader ...I have titled this Closed Minds hope anyone who reads this enjoys it , music wise I was thinking Dylanish acustic music ( darn wish I could play better ) ..
A few minor edits from the assistance of Drunk Rock when you read his replay you will see where it was edited ( Thanks D R )
Closed Minds
When you close your eyes at night time
Do you close your mind as well
When you dream your dreams at night time
Are your thoughts there to sell
Your politically correct speeches
Dressed in fine fancy clothes
Are your words trying to reach us
For our minds are never closed
We may not all be educated
At school some did fail
Your theories will be debated
In our homes and our jails
When you close your eyes at night time
Do you close your mind as well
when you dream your dreams at night time
Are your thoughts there to sell
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
I liked it. And I would think it would sound pretty good with some soft finger picking.
"In your politically correct speeches
Dressed in fine fancy clothes"
I would simple take the "In" out of the first line. Or you could potentially rewrite it as:
"In you PC speeches"
But I'm not too confident about that change.
"In our homes and in jails" I think sounds better with "In our homes and our jails"
Nice. I can defo hear fingerpicking with this.
I agree with drunkrock when he said"In our homes and in jails" I think sounds better with "In our homes and our jails"
Other than that, a fine piece of work.
Pete
ETD - Formerly "10141748 - Reincarnate"
Cheers
I'll take your alterations on board , and you really reckon finger picking would be better ...
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Hilch/Barnabus
This is really good.
I'd like to say I would like a chorus, but I am not so sure If it really needs it. When I sung it in a Dylanish melody it was fairly short. That's the reason I'm thinking it would benefit from a chorus
Also V1 Line 3 I think the repetition of “at night time†is to close to the first line. I do not have a good suggestion for you right now, but I'll try to look at it tonight when I get home and have a guitar in my lap
Overall great tune
Blessings.
Olav
Olav
I was using this as my chorus / intro / outro as the sediment in the lyrics is slightly different to those in the verses ..
When you close your eyes at night time
Do you close your mind as well
When you dream your dreams at night time
Are your thoughts there to sell
Thanks for your feed back
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
