I used to a playa 2 or 3 girls at a time
All of them loved me just cuz i could rhyme
But there was one girl who liked me for me
So how hard could my decision be
It shoulda been obvious that she was the one
She coulda gave birth to my only son
But I made the wrong choice
Now when I talk to her I get cracks in my voice
It was love at first sight
But my mind had to put up a fight
Give me one more chance
Like they did in save the last dance
Back then I was dumb
Wasn't thinkin bout love just thinkin bout gettin some
But now it's in the past
I think our love could last
As long as you take me back my life will be complete
Because it was you that I lacked
I NEED SOME HELP PLEASE POST
I noticed you're new. Welcome to the forum!
This song has great meaning. A classic story of love and heartbreak. However, I do think it needs work. Some lines I didn't think really fit in well. I just think they are there to make the song rhyme.Give me one more chance
Like they did in save the last danceThis was the sentence that I really didn't think fit well. When I hear a song, I like to listen to it and sing along, trying to relate it to me. That's just me, though.
Never get discouraged. Take these replies as advice, keep posting, and view lots and lots of other posts here. It really improves the songwriting ability (I should know.) Also, try to take part in the Sunday Sognwriters Group. And, as always, keep it up!
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
thanks man...does ne1 else have ne other advice for me?
hey and welcome
I would like to see more verses and really open the story up more followed by a chous that really paints the truth behind the story , then a ending . You have a great story it just needs more to fulfill it's ful potential
thats my 5 cents worth
:!: be nice
hilch
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
ohhh I tought choices would be a nice title
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
I'll work on that tonight and hopefully i'll post some more tomorrow thanks for the 5 cents worth
