Pachouli

very nice

enjoyed this greatly

when do we get to listen to it ?????

well done

cheers

oh boy, another great song!

Thank you for your very kind words! This is getting easier every time I post one............... y'all may have unleashed a monster! :D

I'm going to start recording sometime soon........... y'all will be the first ones to hear!

And, again, thank you.

Your very welcome. Hope to hear sum music soon.

Wow. This is terrific, Elecktrablue. The way I read it, it could very easily be done in a "Joan Baez - Diamonds and Rust" style. On the one hand, there's really nothing that needs changed. On the other hand, there are a couple spots that seem like they could be tightened up a bit. And bear in mind, that the music you have in mind for this may well render these observations null and void. But the way I'm reading it, you could drop a few words and make the meter more consistent. i.e.:
With every single kiss --> With each single kiss

very minor tweaks, but I think they'd polish it up. Anyways, this is really a fantastic piece.

Things I really liked:
nice, concise, tight lines, yet each line carries a vivid description. You really set a scene here, and draw us into it. Personal enough to make it unique, general enough to have broad appeal, that's a very tricky balance, but you hit it.

Favorite line:
The warm summer breeze,
still heavy with blooms

Very nice. Different things trigger different memories for people. But I've found that I generally draw associations that are anchored to a particular sound or smell. So it's easy for me to see how that smell of flowers blooming would trigger that kind of memory.

Really very well done.

I think this is really beautiful.

Thanks, Val!

I wrote this about the man who was my first "true" love. It's from one of those occasional "fantasy" moments where past realities sometimes blend with present day fantasy. "Elecktra's Blues" is about him, too. Some people just never leave your heart! :D

For whatever reason, on my way to work this morning, I was listening to Al Stewart's "Year of the Cat". In it, there's a stanza, (bridge, maybe?) that says:

Well, she looks at you so cooly
And her eyes shine like the moon in the sea
She comes in incense and patchouli
So you take her, to find what's waiting inside
The year of the cat

Which reminded me that I meant to ask you,.... What's pachouli?

I can relate to this songe,
it made me sad for a few moments :(

...but that's what makes your song good! :D

I liked how it was set and I liked the end too...
Looking forward to hearing some music to it :!:

For whatever reason, on my way to work this morning, I was listening to Al Stewart's "Year of the Cat". In it, there's a stanza, (bridge, maybe?) that says:
Well, she looks at you so cooly
And her eyes shine like the moon in the sea
She comes in incense and patchouli
So you take her, to find what's waiting inside
The year of the cat
Which reminded me that I meant to ask you,.... What's pachouli?

It's the perfume (or should I say, it's the tiny drop of fragrance, because, like the old Brylcreem ad used to say "A little dab'll do ya!") that I wear! :D LOL! I also occasionally burn pachouli incense. The fragrance is, IMHO, very calming...........

Patchouli Paradise describes it like this: http://members.aol.com/hempmastertoff/patchouliparadise.htm

Patchouli : botanical name {pogostemom cablin} popular spellings { patchouly / pachouli / pachouly/ patchuley } are the same plant that exploded in popularity during the flower power movement of the 60's.

Patchouli essential oil (distilled from the leaves of the patchouli plant) generally has an intense earthy aroma thought to relieve stress and awaken tranquility to the wearer.

The patchouli plant is a fragrant herb, native to tropical Asia and is cultivated in India, Indonesia, Malaysia, the Philippines and Singapore. It grows from 2 to 3 feet in height, and bears egg-shaped leaves , along with whitish flowers, tinged with purple. Harvested two or three times a year, the leaves are then dried in preparation of distillation.

Distillation produces a thick oil, amber to dark orange in colour, with a powerful, earthy sweet, somewhat musty, unmistakable fragrance - that improves as it ages.

(Now, if you ever smell pachouli, you'll know what I smell like!!!! LOL!)

Boy was I ever off! I was guessing it was some kind of stew. :oops:

Scratch, you old romantic, you!

hmmm....Boudin cooked in patchouli oil....that'd go down a treat at the seminar!!!!

:) :) :)

Excellent song by the way, very easy to fit a rhythm to.....be nice to know how you "saw" this, though...any music in mind? Any particular style? I think it'd fit in a kind of slowish Eagles-type country rock vein....

Vic.

Elecktrablue,

Great to see you posting. This song is fantastic.
The smell of pachouli
Drifted out through the air
An acoustic guitar
Was playing somewhere

Brought me back to 1972. OK there was the smell of some other fragrant herbs too.

I agree with Scratchmonkey about the"very minor tweaks"he suggested
A little "spit and polish"can go a long way.

Speaking of Scratch I think he may of been thinking of Ratatoulle
which is a vegetable stew.

Celt