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Quest to the Death
 
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Quest to the Death

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(@snoogans775)
Reputable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 297
Topic starter  

This is a pretty one, I have the guitar track but they usually just seem to confuse people, so I'll leave it out

Quest to the Death

Verse 1
Everybody's got somethin' on they're mind
That they're keepin' away from themselves.
Money, red wine, and a preacher's wife
are creepin into their realm
Chorus 1
time's get so old and you've
never been told 'bout the
creature inside of you

Gotta find out where the
mishief's all about and get to
know the truth
Verse 2
I once learned that success isn't reached
That you live it all day long
But I'm felling pretty good and livin pretty bad
so somebody must be wrong
Chorus 2
I told you so that you're
never gona know
till you live it for yourself

you could live as a
passerby til you work for
the quest to the death
til you work for the quest to the death
Outro
and there's a man I know who told me
I told you so and
now I'm telling you

I'm worried that there's no imagery, what do you think?

I don't follow my dreams, I just ask em' where they're going and catch up with them later.
-Mitch Hedburg
Did you see that!


   
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(@sozay)
Estimable Member
Joined: 22 years ago
Posts: 173
 

Snoogans,

Find it a little tricky as i read this to figure quite how you sing it, but given you already have a guitar track, i guess youve got that sorted out already.
Money, red wine, and a preacher's wife
are creepin into their realm

I once learned that success isn't reached
That you live it all day long
But I'm felling pretty good and livin pretty bad
so somebody must be wrong

loved those lines, very cool, give the song a very distinct feel. Guesss it just sounds like a rough and ready rock song lyric to me...

The only thing i thought needed any changing was perhaps the title, its a little bit too "epic-grandiose-prog-rock" for my tastes, but thats just me
My suggestion would be "Somebody must be wrong" or "Somebodys wrong"...

Good writing
sozay

currently number 60 in total posts... and shooting for number 1!!


   
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(@outoftheloop)
Eminent Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 20
 

nice and thoughtful.

my only qualm is it's a little short. with the insight you have, it wouldn't hurt to say more, you're audience will gladly listen.

after "and now i'm telling you", which is the end, you could go into a bridge.. and then come back to a chorus, or a semi-verse... depends how you want the energy to flow.. build, explode, and fizzle down? or build and release.. build and release?

just some suggestions. obviously it's written for a focus on your vocals/singing, so expanding the musical composition could give you more opportunities to show off your voice.

kyle


   
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(@snoogans775)
Reputable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 297
Topic starter  

Sozay- I love super overdone grandioso stuff, in small doses, but I think this is minute enough and tucked in enough real substance that I can respect it

OOTL-well, here's a few more thoughts on the subject :D I did realize it's a little short

You've been spending all day in a mental cage
the bars are rusted from your own sweat
And you spend all night lookin for some life
while you lie face up in your bed

there's nothing too kind
in the ceiling that you'll find
as it falls on top of you

the only place to live is
the daaaaaytime
so give something for the sun to shine
Verse 4
So now you gotta find your direction
and learn to lose these blues
but this world gives no protection
when we try to break the rules

stop wasting your time
on this broken design
and find the love in you
find the love in you

I don't follow my dreams, I just ask em' where they're going and catch up with them later.
-Mitch Hedburg
Did you see that!


   
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