well, like everything I post, it's approved as good by me, but these might be some rare emotions that me and one guy in Zimbabwe felt at one time or another, or...
Sand Dollars and Cold Women
Verse 1a
I hate this sorrow which she so adores Dm-A-
these thoughts of love polluting my shores Cmaj7sus4-G
so I lay naked and curled, as lost as before A#-F-Eaug
Verse 2a
When this all stops I'll start to live
but right now I find no happiness
so the waves will crumble and put my mind to sea
Verse 1b
Where is my heart to stop my mind Am-C
from thinking myself into this decline F-E
let butterfly breezes and sundrift take me away Am-D-F-E(even the progression rhymes)
Verse 3a
That Woman left so much angst in me
this mangled worm of agony
tearing me apart for the dogs to eat
Verse 2b
How will I die, when will it be
where is mother to comfort me
For now I just cry
each blue night
Bridge
if another falls for my blue eyes C-G
falls for my love, or falls from the sky Dm-Am
I'll be a corpse deranged Em
soaking in this putrid rain B
of black(they're not happy sounding chords here, I can't name them)
of red
of green
Verse 4a
the waves break each and every day
dawn will awake and the sun will fade
and in the night I watch the sea shine
Verse 5a{/i]
for in it I find, this soul of mine
surprisingly warm, and glowing in time
clouds of light dancing in the sand
outro
And here I will die, so comfortably(maj7 and major chords, not sure which though)
with this tumbling ocean in front of me
and maybe you can understand
that I am a god of my own demand
of white
of pink
of blue
.edit-second verse, bridge and everything after
I don't follow my dreams, I just ask em' where they're going and catch up with them later.
-Mitch Hedburg
Did you see that!
Mitch, Overall I liked this . I sang thru it with no trouble at all.The only line I thought could be stronger or maybe I should say different is the last line in the second verse. This is good writing in my opinion. Keep writing. Nite.........
lyrics belong in songs, poems bolong in bookstores
I was enjoying this till I came to the E augmented - gimme a couple of days to work that chord out.......
looks fine to me, though slightly unfinished chord-wise.......
Vic.
Great title by the way.........!!!!
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
I was playing around with ways to label the really awkward inversions I was using, I write in a classical style with each note being part of a melody or harmony instead of chord by chord, so here's some tab since I so brutally simplified with those chords------------------------I------------------------I
------------------------I-6--6--6--3--6--------I
-----------4-----5--5--I-7--6--5--4--7--5--5-I
-3--3--3--5--3--7--7--I-7--7--7--5--8--7--7-I
-5--4--3--5--5--8--7--I------------------8--7-I
-5--5--5--3--6---------I------------------------I
I'm actually pretty proud of this, especially the completion of each chord with my voice, but if it's still seems too dissonant...
I don't follow my dreams, I just ask em' where they're going and catch up with them later.
-Mitch Hedburg
Did you see that!
hey snoog,
Liked it. There's a poetic flow in the verses. However the bridge from 3rd line onwards completely sets a different mood. Dunno but kinda makes me feel like death metal what with coprse and putrid and stuff. Do something about it? Its upto ya. Nice work anyway...
