Tell me what you think:
Turn to Cold
The sun has come up, but the dawn is far from near
It makes me feel sorry, ‘cause you are not here
If I was wrong, and I apologize for that
But what's been done is done, and I can never go back
CHORUS:
Falling in love that leads to a tragic ending
A story that will never be told
I'm so alone without you, my body's slowly dying
Touch it with your fingers and it turns to cold
It's been a struggle for me since you've been gone
It seems impossible for me to move on
I know I was wrong, and I apologize for that
What's been done is done, and I can never go back
CHORUS
And if I make it to tomorrow
I think I'll wait another day
Because my heart is filled with sorrow
And I can't throw it all away (just yet)
The sun has come up but the dawn is far from near
I can't take the pressure without you; I can't go on from here
CHORUS
Cold as the stone, cold as the brutal winter
Coming at full force
Cold as the midnight nightmare, waiting
To take my hand to my remorse
And the fire from within burns undying!
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If I was wrong, and I apologize for that
This line confuses me grammatically. As far as the song, I think this is one of those songs that you really need the melody to evaluate. You have a good idea, keep working.
"Do you serve a purpose, or purposely serve?" Corey Taylor
Hey I really like it but I agree with nocturne but what about:
If I was wrong, I'd apologize for that
In my head flows better that way but i don't know your melody and all but I really like it.