man, am i in trouble

Margaret

It is great to hear the woman's point of view.

You said the piano was OK because it was your money.

How do we know this wasn't Rocker's money?

What I am getting at is this: Perhaps Rocker would rather spend his $1000 on this guitar, but his SO has already planned out how he is going to spend it FOR HIM.

You know, it is not just the guys who are the selfish, self-centered ones in the relationship every time. But it is a guy's place to take the hit. Guys are bad if they buy something for themselves, but the gals deserve it.

It is the double-standard that bothers me.

I've just somewhat impulsively, without mentioning it to my wife, bought or bid on several lots of cheap Russian vacuum tubes on eBay. I haven't broken the bank or sacrificed a family vacation, though, so I think I'll get off easy. I've got the amp building and modding bug again, bad. Got some new ideas for different stuff. A couple of nights ago my wife climbed in with me late at night and I was building an amp in my sleep, talking about it (she had no idea what I meant) and busily "working" on it with my hands. She climbed back out and headed for the couch.
:lol:

Wes wrote: How do we know this wasn't Rocker's money?

We didn't know that, but being as it was designated "vacation money", that tends to infer it was "community" money, unless they take separate vacations, in which case it probably wouldn't have been an issue of her getting mad about his spending it on a guitar, because he would've only been sacrificing his own vacation. As most of us perceived it, it seemed to be money for a joint vacation, although that may not be accurate. If it was indeed his "own" vacation money and wouldn't affect her ability to enjoy her hard-earned time off, then I would change my stance.
Wes wrote: it is not just the guys who are the selfish, self-centered ones in the relationship every time.

True. I admit that I have done things including spending money without consideration of the effect on others in my household. And it has had negative repercussions on my relationships, though probably not as bad as I deserved. (Incidentally the piano I bought was a replacement for my old one, and I did have it to trade in.)
Wes wrote: But it is a guy's place to take the hit. Guys are bad if they buy something for themselves, but the gals deserve it.

That's a generalization not all women would agree with. I think guys should buy what they want for themselves. But neither partner should spend to the detriment of the financial health of the household, or with total disregard for the feelings of the other--at least if they want to keep the relationship afloat, or unless they have a very forgiving partner.

I agree, double standards generally suck.

Margaret

Thats chicken soup for the guitar players soul :D and you get a vacation AND a guitar....You the MAN :!:

Wes, you are a great guy and I have alot of respect for you in regards to music and your posts here so I dont want to sound like i am harping on you. But I wonder if your past experience, that you detailed (sort of) for us isnt playing into your judgement on this one. Rocker never said that SHE was the one planning this vacation. Everytime he spoke about it, it was planned by the two of them. He never stated who was funding it. It may be Rocker or it may be the two, certainly the facts are that Rocker contributed to it. But even if Rocker was funing the entire vacation, if it was a vacation that the two had planned together.. then it would have been wrong because the assumtion is that they are working towards the vacation and they have both committed to some sort of terms for the payment and planning of such vacation. This isnt a double standard issue. This is an issue of Rocker making a promise to his girlfriend and needing to stick to that promise.

Anyways.. that my two cents.

Geoo

Come on now Geoo, don't go harping on Wes. He's making some good points. If it was Rockers money, then really he can do what he pleases with it. But I do see where your coming from, he did make a promise and all, but it still may be his money, or both of theirs.

On a lighter note, Rocker could right a song about the time he had those "Implusive guitar buying blues"...for a couple of hours.

Paul

guys, it was both are money, she contributed the exact amount as i did, wes is my bud
and i think he is just looking out for me and i see where he is comming from, but on the
same tokken, you guys and gals are right, i should not have done that.

marcie wants me to have that guitar, she just didn't want me messing up our vacation that we both need and are both looking forward to, she said if i wanted to put it on layaway
and we can pay a little each week on it it was fine :D

Glad things worked out for you Rocker :)

I wouldn't know any of you people on the street if I knocked you over as I stumbled out of a bar, but this was good readin' !! Glad to get to know ya a bit Rocker.

This was a great thread. I'm actually SMILING as I read it here this morning at work.

Good times. Enjoy the vacation.

This isn't a NOW rally. I don't see copies of Mary Wollstonecraft laying around. Wes didn't just call for suffrage to be repealed anyways, he's just speaking out on the behalf of not sacrificing things that please you in the name of a relationship. I mean this guy had a woman he loved attempt to put him at a decision between her and the guitar as he said a few pages ago. He's bound to have a little emotional baggage from that type of thing. Hell, I wouldn't even give up using the bar of soap to clean instead of a wash cloth for my last girlfriend, and every time she brought it up I got angry. I imagine if a girl asked me to quit guitar it would spark the "give me all my stuff back" conversation.

Anyways, where's the vacation to? Somewhere sunny I hope.

ivankaramazov wrote: Hell, I wouldn't even give up using the bar of soap to clean instead of a wash cloth for my last girlfriend, and every time she brought it up I got angry
:lol:

Easy solution might've been to have two separate bars of soap. His and Hers.

Imagine this---some of us liberated chicks even require the guys to put the seat down! :shock:

I agree that no one should have to choose between making music and their SO. Not a recipe for happiness, in my book. (There might be circumstances that require some compromise, such as a recovering alcoholic agreeing to not play in bars, or a parent agreeing to schedule band practice around family activities, etc).

Ideal scenario is where both partners support, encourage and applaud the other's life passions. We can probably all agree on that. Unfortunately, we don't all find that in one package.

Margaret

This has long since gone from a "What should I do guys" post to a GN "I am going to argue everyones point to death" post. Facts arent being discussed. The original post isnt being addressed and your diving into fantasy.
This isn't a NOW rally.

No one said it was a NOW rally. No one (that I know of) thinks anything badly of Wes. I think he's one of the greatest posters on here but my name has been mentioned a couple times in this thread as if I think badly of him. I dont. I think even he knows that.

Its a forum and we can all disagree but instead of throwing up sensationalism like "This isnt a NOW rally" why not stick to what the facts are.

Doesnt matter to me. This post has gone too far off topic. I am elated that Rocker and his lady worked it out. I'm going to go read other posts for a while.

Geoo

i screw up sometimes, you know how i love guitars, i can't help it
and she said " i know, and i can't help i'm in love with an idiot" we both laughed, and the she says " are you going home know?"

Man - you are good! It's probably the best thing you ever did! Now, you look like a saint and she has a "stupid thing my boyfriend did" story that she can tell for years and years.

I wish I thought of it.......

BJ

I'm glad too see everything work out for Rocker.

I think this should become some sort of rule for all guitarist. If the money you are using for anything non guitar, comes from two or more people, do not spend it on a guitar. It could certainly help alot of us out if we all knew the importance of this. It might just make the difference in alot of us writing love songs, or sad songs.

Paul

Its a forum and we can all disagree but instead of throwing up sensationalism like "This isnt a NOW rally" why not stick to what the facts are.

Geoo

hehe, fair enough.