Parent issues

That's something I have never told my children when they are trying to be musical , I have always encouraged them it was bloody tough doing shift work and some little 15 year old was bellowing out the lyrics to the latest pop song .. so we made ground rules while I worked night shifts No Noise until I was up and about ...

Next time mum or dad tells you to hush ask them what would they prefer you do sing ????? invite a girl to your bed room ???

I'm sure they won't mind a bit music coming from your room after that

So true LK, I used to work nights when my kids were tiny....nothing worse than getting home from a 12-hour shift (10pm to 10am) and haveing a couple of screaming kids, for whatever reason.....

But mine were only little then.....

The last job I had, I worked 10-8 nights, Marilyn's daughter would come to our house in the school hols and bring the kids, I was in bed....Marilyn wouldn't tolerate any noise above a whisper before 4pm.....

Ahh, I long for those days....the cuppa tea and the bacon buttie (with tomato sauce and black pepper!) in bed....

:D :D :D

Vic

And now the grandkids are a bit older, what do they want to do?

Follow me up to the music/computer room...last night, I had to play the "Titanic" theme and record our Lauren singing.....

That was fun.....NOT!....but hey, I suppose we all have to make sacrifices......if my daughter'd asked me to do a Celine Dion song, I'd probably have said something very rude.....

Next week, our Samantha wants to do a Westlife song....I'm emigrating.....

:D :D :D

Vic

Hey JW,
my parent's insults are really destroying my confidence, anyone else have this problem?

don't let them grind you down. Its taken me over 40 years to overcome that kind of talk. Its only in the last year that I've had the courage to record my own voice. I'm working up to singing in front of a live (not just family) audience soon. In my house my kids and anybody is encouraged to express themselves. Maybe you could arrange a time of day when you can practise that doesn't interfere with whatever they want to do. I think you have to work with them, that way you can eliminate any tension that is gonna make it hard for you to do good practice.
Anyway whatever you, don't stop singing.
Cheers
pbee

Oh my god Vic

I think we are going through the same thing but I don't record it , I have to play ( not sure if you know ) the theme to Fat Albet ( cartoon ) , while the grand kids sing the words ...... Just wish their parents still played musical instruments ...

But then again probably not the kiddies enjoy them selves but I just wish I could get them to sing a different song

.........................................

One thing that has helped my singing a great deal is sing in my church choir. Something about standing in the middle of a bunch of people that can sing well. It seems to rub off on you. If you did a little research you'd be amazed at how many great singers in all types of music, started singing in a church choir.

Wow, I am really a fortunate person. I grew up with just one parent (my Dad), but he was extremely supportive of everything myself and my brothers did.

I really cannot know what it is like to hear such discouraging comments from your parents. But I am sure it hurts.

I would say to get out and sing where people are supportive. Yes, join a choir or go out for chorus. Get around good teachers who will help you develop your voice. Or find a friend and start a group. Practice somewhere away from your parents.

This may sound terrible, but you should avoid negative people. These are usually folks who are not happy with themselves and feel they must drag everybody else down to their level.

Don't subject yourself to this. Life is tough enough without hearing constant criticism.

Parents screw up all the time. I'm 44 now, and constantly screw up with my own daughters. My 12 year old would practice and practice "Kumbaya" on the piano, until I couldn't take it any more. The thing is, the piano is heard throughout the house, and when you come home after a long frustrating day, and have fought traffic to get home to your "refuge", and all you want to do is sit down and chill out, you forget how much impact your words can have on them.
And also, my old man was (and still is) the pre-eminent discourager. When I was growing up, I used to say he could suck the fun out of fishing. I learned later on, that he was overworked, usually on my account. (He worked 2-3 jobs at a time, my brother, sisters and I all had music lessons, swimming lessons, karate lessons, scouts, etc...) He loved us, but was usually exhausted.
I would say to get out and sing where people are supportive. ...
you should avoid negative people. ...
Life is tough enough without hearing constant criticism.

Amen to that, Wes. What you need to do is surround yourself with positive folks. People who can encourage you. At 16, and living at home, it may be a bit trickier, but it's doable.

Good luck to you.

This is a massive problem generally and especially if you are tyrying to develop and improve your voice.

I have taught and been taught singing for a little while and one thing that is vital to the development of the voice is that you concern yourself with your voice and not what other people think. It is desperately important to have some kind of 'Safe' space in which you can make as many terrible mistakes as you want to without worrying about them. Whether you sing in tune or out, if you holda note true or with vibrato you need to be in a position to understand why wahtever happened did happen. You can't do this with people constantly criticising you.

Speak to your parents and explain to them the situation. If they don't agree to a compromise then don't compromise yourself and carry on