Well I'm back after a delay of almost 6 months. I wrote so much music and quite a few lyrics (that's the problem with my writing). Here's a song I recently completed.Feel free to express your oppinion.
Ve1:
I remember in my life
Some days of blue
I wasn't satisfied
And so were you
Those days've passed away
But what will ensue
Before the present day is through
Re:
High or low
Although life - it is too short
I'm gonna stand and carry on
All yor dreams
Someday are gonna take wings
And gonna fly beyond the wall
Ve2:
You're standing by my side
Beneath the rising sun
And I am satisfied
And we're as one
Today I feel allright
But what is goin' to come
Before this present day is gone
Re:
High or low
Although life - it is too short
I'm gonna stand and carry on
All yor dreams
Someday are gonna take wings
And gonna fly beyond the wall
They're gonna fly beyond the wall ...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
First off, nice song :) , I can almost imagine the music behind it, as I read
Only fault I can find, is in the first verse..
I wasn't satisfied
And so were you
Should probably be
I wasn't satisfied
And neither were you
Or something similar, just a matter of matching a negative with a negative
:wink:
Fuck!
I wonder how I hadn't noticet that stupid ... However.
Ok. Thanks for the remark.
I think that this would do it with the melody and syllables:
I wasn't satisfied
And neither you
But is really sounds a little bit worse.If youcan suggest sth else welcvome
But I insist on this "I wasn't satisfied" line to stay
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
how about this:
I wasn't satisfied
and you weren't either
there are the same number of syllables, but not sure if it futs with the melody.
-CheapThrill
What if your tried the line
baby were you?
but there would be a small pause between baby and were you.
That way it matches a little closer syllable wise to your original line.
TheJackal
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=283413
Only dead fish go with the flow.
