Happy Chappy ( dedicated to Lippy ) WEEK 32

Hey Lottoking

can hear this as on of those really happy boppy beatles songs, the chorus especially, and then the last verse perhaps being played of the realitive minors of the rest of the song (which the beatles were fond of for bridges etc). The chorus at the end would see it finish on a postive note of sorts.

perhaps try and wrestle the 2nd and third verse into the same rhyming strucutre as verse one (AABCCB).. and extra line on the end of verse two (perhaps - Can see our photo on the front page) and the third verse put a line between the second and third (perhaps - and fall into a backward view). and rejig the line "to our wives we call dear" a bit. it feels like a line that has been written that way just to make it rhyme.

liked this LK, and a touching tribute.
good writing
sozay

Thanks Sozay

this line I understand what you mentioned

"To our lovely wives we call dear "

but it's true .

maybe I should have said something like

" To our lovely wives we love so dear "

But thanks for your reply , the structure I just didn't want to make this sounding like a poem thats why I purposely had the structure all over the place a bit eratic even one might say .

But thanks

Cheers

L.K :arrow:

it has been a long time since I penned a song

Nice work, Lotto.

As I was reading I was going to complain that this was just a fluff peice... and then I hit verse 3. I guess I should have been expecting it, but it I wasn't and it hit full force.

I'm left with only two questions:
a) Is 'Happy Chappy' a British thing? I'm not familiar with the phrase anyway.
b) Is the 'He will never go to hell' part a reference to the Catholic belief that those who commit suice will not get into heaven?

If either of my assumptions are correct, then just be aware that your potential audience is narrowed. The first because the phrase is localised. The second because, at least here in the Angliphone sections of Canada, probably only a minority of people would know many specific beliefs of Catholocism (or any other major denomonation or religeon).

But as I said, the song impacted me, a non-Catholic/non-Brit, so maybe I've just proven myself wrong.

hey Slowplay

Good questions

Is Happy Chappy a British thing ? I don't know as I am Australian over here a Happy Chappy is very moody person it's a play on words , if someone is a moody , miserable sod we say that he is a happy chap .

I am not very religious person and the Catholic faith I have no knowledge of , the line refering to going to hell is to make the narrator believe that this chap is going to heaven rather then going to hell .

No matter of religious beliefs I think everyone wishes their dearly departed ones find the promise land . ( Hope I am not sounding like a chuch minister or something ?)

I understand where your point of view is coming from and I do respect other beliefs , but this was not in any way a song about religious beliefs .

It was just this old Aussie trying to get back into writting for a long long time , have had alot things happening here since the year's begining and thought this would be a good start for me .

hope this has cleared up your questions ?

Thank you for response

All relpy's of any nature to any of the songs I post are always appreciated

No-one has to be nice and not tell the truth about my work if it is rubbish in your eyes please say so but please offer suggestions .

Cheers

L.k :arrow:

Gotcha... now it makes much more sense to me. I liked it before, now even more so, though I am disappointed that the 'hell' thing wasn't alluding to the suicide... I thought it was kinda clever that way.

I should have clued into the fact that you were Australian given that your location is directly below your name. :oops: The point is still valid though. So when you become an international star you'll have to rework the song for us non-Aussies.

no, no need to rework it, us aussies can slowly start to 'australianise' the world, to slow/reduce the americanisation :P

All these Australians here, good stuff. I'm not familiar with Happy Chappy in the sense you give it, but there you go. The last bit hits you a bit. I'd leave out the bloody, it has more impact with understatement, I reckon. One other thing...

My old mind it does slip.

Dylan and other greats have used do or does or did as auxilliary verbs, for reasons of rhyme or metre, and I've never liked it. maybe you could go with

my mind, it slips (which works from the rhyme point of view), and you can sing it in such a way as to make the syllables fit in nicely.

Just a suggestion, tell me to pull my head in, I think it's good. Would you consider keeping the music in a major key all the way through, go against the feeling of the words? Again, just a thought.

And as for Australianising the world, I think if you got something this good, it's better if we kept it to ourselves.

JMcC

Thanks

Point taken about (AUSTRLIANISM ) not sure if that s a word if not it should be :D

Me a star ( ha ha ha ) I suppose Noah was what a old man when he learnt to build a boat , so I suppose it is achievable :oops:

and sozay

Bravo bravo could not put it better well said , not to insult those who love thier country . opps becoming political here better go :P

take my comments with a grain of salt ( in other words as nothing ) :roll:

ohhh just forget about me I am old and stupid

Cheers

L.K :arrow:

Thanks Dr W G Grace ( the cricketer ? right)

The word bloody I struggled with as I don't like swearing in songs but I thought it needed something added originally it was not there .

As for the Does in the line

"My old mind it does slip"

it just seems to flow for me , but no doubt what you are saying is totally true .

Dylan ? yeah he used but to much better effect then what I have , I just reckon it fits rather well .

Well funny you say Majors that is what I am thinking actually , but can not decide .Would love to see what chords anyone else might think would fit , I am thinking about a 4/4 . ??? maybe

I would never tell someone offering advise to pull their head in .

Thanks doc

It's good to be back

cheers

L.K :arrow:

LK
Yes, it is indeed the cricketr, for reasons there's no need to go into here.
And I don't think there's any need to bag your efforts here, they communicate something powerfully and honestly, and that's all anyone can do. Good stuff.
ANd I bet I'm older than you.
Cheers
JMcC

1950 was a good year

Hey LK

I like it. I thought “happy chappy” was that he was just an easygoing kinda guy which makes his suicide even more disturbing. I read the “he will never go to hell” to mean that he was basically just a good guy.
Yeah there may be another dimension in there, intended or not with the Hell stuff. Suicide is generally a taboo activity in most cultures regardless of religion and because he was such a good guy he doesnt desrved to pinged because he opted out this way.
I think Id leave the Bloody in there cos I don't think its a profanity in this context.

Good work cobber :D .

pb

Thanks Pbee

Glad you liked it .

Is there anything in here that might need teeking ?

I am totally biase on this piece , as I think it's rather good but that's only my opion which I said is totally biased .

Thanks for your comments appreciated muchly

cheers

L.K :arrow:

did anyone miss my songs ? that were not being posted for months ?

strange that

Hi LK,

Well since you asked,

This verse (I like the change in direction of the last line BTW), feels different from the first one in terms of flow to my mind.
We were married in the same year
To our lovely wives we call dear
To sweethearts from our younger days
Best men at each others wedding
I still see the newspapers heading

I think it needs the same short line and long line structure as verse one.
Something like:
Married in the same year
To wives we call dear
To sweethearts from our younger days
Best friends of course
Best men at the wedding
I still see the newspapers heading

I'm not sure that works either, but there you go :D.

pb