Thanks all for your past comments. I figured this weeks assignment was pretty easy until I realize I was suppose to write a song, too, and not just a title . . . . . .
NOISE AKA THE BUSH SYNDROME
The day starts soon enough
with all of its demands
I'm trying my best to think
but I don't think that I can
because of the noise, noise, noise
it's all around me where ever I go
the constant noise, noise, noise
and I think it's beginning to grow
getting louder every minute
doesn't matter which way I turn
is there a way to turn it off
some skill that I can learn
because the noise is overpowering
and it has me on the brink
I think I'm going crazy
I think I need a shrink
because of the noise, noise, noise
it's all around me where ever I go
the constant noise, noise, noise
and it's reached a new plateau
Someone stop it, someone help me
I can't take it anymore
turn it down, shut it off
it's not enough to close the door
It doesn't stop for a moment
it never leaves me alone
if it's not the radio
it's someone one the phone
it's all noise, noise, noise
and it's getting so severe
that the noise, noise, noise
is all that I can hear
What did you say, can you repeat that
can you possibly write that down
I swimming in this noise
and I'm trying not to drown
but it's become so overpowering
I'm thinking of giving in
anything for some silence
committing the unforgivable sin
because all the noise, noise, noise,
it doesn't mean a thing
it's just noise, noise, noise,
the endless ranting of a king
noise, noise, noise . . . . . . . .
You put together a great song this week Chefie.
8)
"If I had a time machine, I'd go back and tell me to practise that bloody guitar!" -Vic Lewis
Everything is 42..... again.
Good song, I like the title, he is such a windbag or perhaps a whoopee cushion. The only difference is that a whoopee cushion has the redeeming quality of being somewhat funny.
Life is not what you did. It's what you are doing.
Hi
Like always your posting a quality song again ....
I really like the chorus .. well done
keep up the writting
Hilch :?:
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
This is a great song, Chefie. It's captured a emotion of someone on the brink nicely and builds up right to the end; you can feel this poor bugger losing it. :)
About the only quibble I had was the same as Bushpig's (ie. that of the "King"). It just seemed a little out of place for me.
Other than that there were some really great verses there including (but not limited to :P):
because the noise is overpowering
and it has me on the brink
I think I'm going crazy
I think I need a shrink
and ...
What did you say, can you repeat that
can you possibly write that down
I swimming in this noise
and I'm trying not to drown
Well done mate. 8)
From little things big things grow - Paul Kelly
I see where the "King" line comes from (and I like it by the way), but unless you work in the media or have your TV on constantly I think you dilute the earlier power of the song by revealing that all the noise comes from one individual, even if he is President.
I'm not sure how you'd fix it (or even if you'd want to) but one suggestion would be to open up the last chorus:
because all the noise, noise, noise,
it doesn't mean a thing
just endless noise, noise, noise,
the rants of cabbages and kings
I used "cabbages" because it reminds me of Alice in Wonderland (the segment on the Walrus and the Carpenter) but "commoners" would work or "commentators" or "Commentator Kings" if you're solely focusing on talk radio (which would be a very interesting focal point for the whole song as well...)
Just a thought. Really great flow to this. Any thoughts as to music?
Peace
Chefie,
Good song!
If I may I'd like to put my 2% in on "King" issue.
I like David's suggestion but instead of "cabbages" I
would go with "politicos".
Just my opinion
John
Hi Chefie
Good idea to the song and works well. Last line seems to be where people are divided. The idea behind the song certainly lends itself to the ranting of a king but without the explanation it does just come out of nowhere. As David suggests introduce it a little earlier and the line sits fine.
My only other thought was to alter the line
and it's reached a new plateau
to
rising to a new crescendo
Cresecendo just fits with the noise idea - but as always this is just a suggestion.
Good stuff
Bob
You are what you eat, eat well
Thanks for all the comments and suggestions.
David, I really like your "cabbages and kings" idea.
