Since I enjoyed last week's SSG I have deiced to keep at songwriting
I wanna go out, live a little, maybe
But these dirty pot and pan are stopping me
Marigolds and floral hairnets
This really isn't a good look
I have my duties to fulfil
Washing, cleaning and tiding up
There all on my list
Better make a start I've got a hard day ahead
Carrots need pealing, potatoes need mashing
My patients is wearing thin
The turkeys happily cooking away
As my head begins to spin
Good Morning TV merges into This Morning and before I know it, it's half past three
There's still a lot to do and now the kids want their tea
Gobble, Gobble Goggle that what the Turkey used to say but not any more
More dishes to wash, Will this nightmare never stop?
I have my duties to fulfill
Washing, cleaning and tiding up
There all on my list
Better make a start I've got a hard day ahead
It's 11pm and with all my duties have been fulfilled
I'm wondering
“Will I have to do this again tomorrow?â€
Hi MBE,
Glad you decided to keep it up. I think you have the bones of a good song here but you may want to consider the following points.
For me the last line of your song very important cos it makes a powerful point. So much so that if this was my song I might work that point into the chorus. Or you could allude to the lack of time in your chorus, either way this would give the song a direction early on in the piece.
I had a little trouble with the rhythm on this one, it's hard to know without hearing it. I tend to compose the music first and then the lyrics, this makes the rhythm much easier to get. If you don't have a composition handy you can always borrow one from a song that you like, we would never know. I think Trevor did this last week.
Anyway good bones
Cheers
Paul
Hi
I had a go at writting your first verse as I would have , like Paul said you have the bones of a good song ..
Just thought I would offer something
Your Verse
I wanna go out, live a little, maybe
But these dirty pot and pan are stopping me
Marigolds and floral hairnets
This really isn't a good
My interpretation
I wanna go out, live a little maybe
Dirty ol pots the only things keeping me
Marigolds and floral hairnets what a trend
I don't look my best , but this aint the end
Trev
ps
Yes I did try to do this last week ....
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
