Hi All,
Not unlike some others here I managed to mangle my hand a few weeks ago . . . . . seeing how sharp my knives were by almost cutting off the tip of my index finger on my fretting hand. Luckily it was stitched back together and is healing well. Just have'nt been able to play at all until now . . . . and am still very limited. So this weeks song is a bit simplistic chord wise, but I couldn't stay away . . .
http://www.soundclick.com/neilstuart
Hard Sell To Get To Paradise
It's a hard sell to get to paradise
although it sounds mighty good
and the pictures look nice
they say you'll meet your maker
and your maker's son
but in order to get there
there are things to be done
you gotta listen to them bells
and sing them songs
line up every Sunday
tell preacher what you did wrong
unless you confess
and tell him your sins
the doors will be locked
they won't let you in
and where they send you
only lordy knows
rumor has it
you'll burn your toes
and your eyes will be open
but there's nothing you can see
you look for a friend
but there's only your enemies
you don't know for sure
what's truth or what's a threat
but the end's sure to come
and they're telling you to place your bet
and the truth of the matter is
it's alll getting old
tired of them telling you what to do
tired of being told
it's a hard sell to get to paradise
and it sounds mighty good
and the pictures look nice
but there's a path you gotta follow
and it's narrow and straight
you gotta stay on time
it's no good to be late
and the road to paradise is filled with pain
it's not all sunshine
there's sure to be rain
but they say when you get there
everything will be all right
the darkness will end
and you'll see the light
yes it's a hard sell to get to paradise
but I don't really care
I don't think it's right
to lose your sight looking into the sun
when we could spend our time here
having some fun
yes it's a hard sell to get to paradise
I think I'll keep my money
cause I don't like the price
whatever happens only time will tell
but I don't believe in heaven
and I don't believe in
well, it's a hard sell to get to paradise
Hey Neil,
Great song and great recording ( I'd never have guessed you were recovering from a hand injury ). That's very catchy. Usually with a song with this many verses it is easy to either just be wordy to fill space or to get off topic, but you have avoided both evils, so congratulations. And this is also a great take on the theme with a wonderful tag line.
Just a few suggestions, all of which are minor points or opinion, but they're all I've got:
line up every Sunday
tell preacher what you did wrong
I'm pretty sure confession is only practiced by Catholics, but they call their vicars 'priests'; the term 'preacher' is used mostly in non-traditional protestant churches.
you'll burn your toes
I know what you're going for, and I don't disagree with the direction, but this line seemed a bit like you were trying to make a rhyme. You can freeze your toes, but typically you don't burn them. ( By way of full disclosure, I wrote a song a few weeks back for the assignment "And if you say this will be easy..." that I never submitted that talks about people's feet catching on fire. I may post it someday if it fits another assignment and I can finish it. However, my critique of the line isn't just because I felt you were stepping on my toes... no pun intended :) )
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
Great words, Neil, I identify with,
"I don't think it's right
to lose your sight looking into the sun
when we could spend our time here
having some fun"
but especially, your comic edge added in at the end:
"and I don't believe in
well, it's a hard sell to get to paradise"
Good song!
Elle
