R.E.M. has a song with the same title on Out of Time, I think, although it might be called Half A World Away...
Kind of stark with major ninth chords (at least so far! :wink: ) Last verse may be overkill. The last five lines certainly are...
Half The World Away
There's so much to talk about
So much to be explained
But you say nothing so I say nothing
And everything is changed
There is distance when we touch
There is anger in our lies
And the smiles we've been saving for those special occasions
Never reach our eyes
Looking back watching things fall apart
In awe but unafraid
But it's so easy to be brave
When you're half the world away
Imagine there's a place
Where you and I agree
On anything on everything
Except on you and me
Where we talk about the children
And the long lost good old days
What can you possibly hope to save
When you're half the world away
(very short guitar interlude)
There's too much to talk about
When your time is at an end
Friends turn into lovers
Into fathers and mothers
And back into strangers again
Still we sleepwalk through these tired old lines
Of this poorly written play
What difference can it make
When you're half the world away
When we're half the world away
©2008 - D. Hodge
Peace
Hi David,
Now you may disagree with me . . . . . . :D
Some very poignant verses going on here . . . . . . . and they connect well.
One thought . . . . .
And everything is changed
I wonder if you substitute "nothing is changed" if the different nuance might add something . . . . . .
I do agree with you that the last verse doesn't totally fit.
What if it went something like;
There's too much to talk about
When your time is at an end
Friends turn into lovers
And then back into strangers again
is it only a matter of give and take
what difference can it make
When you're half a world away
when you've half a world away
And you'll be putting it to an MP3 when?
Best wishes,
Neil
David ,
Nice piece of writing sir , I have been messing around with the minor chords as of late and I think they would work for you with this as well , gee who do I think I am giving you ideas for music ....
Wake up Trev your not that good buddy ....
And now I am going to disagree with Neil now ..Wow replying to 2 threads and disagreeing both times , I must becoming a grumpy old man ..:)
To me everything has more of defined image rather than nothing , and looking at the previous line ,
But you say nothing so I say nothing
Then followed by
And nothing is changed
To my ears thats way too much nothing going on , of course this is my humble opinion and I ain't no song writer , just a guy trying to do something he always wanted to do ..
I like it David , but I will agree with Neil when he asks , "And you'll be putting it to an MP3 when? " huh ?
Cheers
Trev...:)
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
David ,
To me everything has more of defined image rather than nothing , and looking at the previous line ,
But you say nothing so I say nothing
Then followed by
And nothing is changed
To my ears thats way too much nothing going on , of course this is my humble opinion and I ain't no song writer , just a guy trying to do something he always wanted to do ..
I haven't had my coffee yet, Trev, so I'm going to be grumpy and disagree with you.
Makes perfectly good sense to me the way it is.
Nothing + nothing begets nothing (although I've seen mathematical proofs where this is not so) . . .
which suggests the converse (or is it the contrapositive?) is needed. (Ewwww I really do need my coffee)
Licensed to be grumpy,
KR2
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Thanks for the comments so far, folks.
Trev, you pretty much spelled out what I was looking for in the "nothing + nothing = everything" scenario. Not only for meaning but also in terms of sound. It'll hopefully make more sense when I've put up a recording. "Everything" goes a lot better with the melody and, after all, melody is also part (big part) of songwriting. It's funny, and it may be a topic worth looking at in depth, but sometimes (for me at least) the melody can dictate a change in words so many times. Not only because of things like syllables, but more importantly in terms of sound.
Neil, I'm still trying to work out the last verse, too (and getting nowhere fast). May have to record it as is just to get it up online for further critique.
As to when, probably late in the week. I've been battling allergies for close to two weeks now - close to no voice and playing skills more laughable than usual (check out the train wreck I created in the last MP3 on the lesson on Help! when Paul gets it online). But I'm hoping it's about run its course. This kind of thing seems to hang around longer the older I get...
Again, a thanks to all you grumpy guys! :wink:
Peace
Still we sleepwalk through these tired old lines
Of this poorly written play
maybe to:
Still we sleepwalk through the (tired) scenes (or acts)?
Of this poorly written play
"nothing + nothing = everything"
Lessons in Hodge math too? (for the same price)
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
David,
I like verse 1 because it unfolds the situation nicely and completes with those last 2 very good lines. I am stuggling a bit with verse 2 though, I dont quite get it. I think if "Except on you and me" read "And even you and me" it would make a little more sense to me but the "What can you possibly hope to save " line throws me. Maybe if this was elaborated on a bit. I think it's the "Sleepwalk ..." and the "...tired old play.." lines that dont quite work for me in the context of looking back at the passage of time. I think this is the point I would elaborate on if this was mine.The last line "When we're half .." has got to be a keeper and you could even lose the preceeding line if needed. Looking forward to hearing what you do with this song
cheers
Paul
Hi David,
Another good song, as expected but, like Paul, a few things threw me. When I read it through I sort of automatically changed a few things so that they were clearer to me, even though they might not have been what you originally intended. It came out something like this:
There's so much to talk about
So much to be explained
But you say nothing and I say nothing (and for so)
Because everything has changed ('because' and 'has')
There is distance when we touch
Too much truth in all our lies (for some reason I was expecting another oxymoron type feeling after the distance/touch thing. My version probably doesn't stand up to overly close inspection, but seemed to have that ring of profundity as it rolled off the tongue. A bit like some of Bob Dylan's lyrics. :D )
And the smiles we've been saving for those special occasions
Never reach our eyes
Looking back watching things fall apart
Transfixed but unafraid (or distressed, dismayed, confused or something other than "In awe" which didn't work for me)
But it's so easy to be brave
When you're half the world away
Imagine there's a place
Where you and I agree
On anything on everything
("Except on you and me"seemed like a big switch of emphasis that confused the image a bit) maybe:
And once again feel free... or
And get back in harmony..
or something about playing in the same key..
Where we talk about the children
And the long lost good old days
Yet what can you really hope to save (I felt the original line didn't have quite the right direction)
When you're half the world away
(very short guitar interlude)
There's too much to talk about
When your time is at an end
Friends turn into lovers
Into fathers and mothers
And back into strangers again
Still we sleepwalk through these tired old lines
Of this poorly written play
What difference can it make
When you're half the world away
Apologies if that's too nitpicky, or misreads your intentions. Just off the top of the head reactions.
Chris
