SSG11-Week13 Empty Dance Floor

Great hook! I think starting each verse with "Theres an empty dance floor" is overdone since the chorus is essentially "fill up this empty dance floor " Either change the chorus... NOOOOOO! or the first line of the verses.

Your ability to use the compositional software and build songs with virtual instruments is outstanding too.

There’s an empty dance floor
Some are showing their moves from their seats
And there’s music playing
Others nodding and tapping their feet

Great verse. It really shares a wonderful image.

I'm not as concerned with the repetitiveness of "there's an empty dance floor" It works for me.

My only suggestion is possibly is to change the ending. End the emptiness with a twist. Perhaps something like
There’s an empty dance floor
soom all the guests will go away
There will be no music playing
and you've left it up for me to say

will you dance with me
I'll be the brave one
dance with me
dance with me

Just a thought.

Neil

Hi John and Neil,
"Theres an empty dance floor" is overdone since the chorus is essentially "fill up this empty dance floor "
I only tweaked the 1st line on the last verse slightly; I guess my concern is taking away the focus of the song, but I am open to suggestions if there is a missing element that might fit in better lyrically on the first lines.
Your ability to use the compositional software and build songs with virtual instruments is outstanding too.
It's been a long journey of trial and error (and it's far from over for me). The ironic thing is the more I learn, the less musicianship is involved, but the more I realize the need to develop ears for mixing. Anyway, the behind the scenes on this one is the following:

Figured out the song on guitar
Typed the chords into the program Ludwig 3 and chose country pop
http://chessbase-shop.com/en/products/ludwig3_eng

Then I output the song as midi and transferred it into my DAW (Sonar X2)
http://www.musicradar.com/gear/tech/computers-software/digital-audio-workstations-daws/sonar-x2-567294

I assigned the tracks using the sounds from IK Multimedia' s Sonik Synth2
http://www.ikmultimedia.com/products/soniksynth/

I recorded the guitar and vocals and today added a piano part from EZKeys (which again was made with clicking and dragging; no actual piano playing).

My only suggestion is possibly is to change the ending.
I tweaked the ending a bit to try to stay in the moment and make it a call for the sitters to start dancing.....it's not set in stone

An alternative line I was debating was this:

There’s some life on dance floor
A couple kids; maybe 5 and 3
And they don't need permission
Bouncing around care-free

This would have a more "family oriented" feel to the audience......feedback?

Thanks for the listens and posts :D

James

Very enjoyable. I can just see the little kids out there dancing!
I truly admire how you get something out here every week James, and they keep getting better! I also admire your skills with the all the technology.

Hi Kathy,

Thanks so much for the listen and encouraging feedback. :D

James

Hi James works for me on the read will listen tonight.
We all chit chat and sit and stare
This is the only line that sticks out for me in as much as it reads a little awkward (almost old style language), but I'll reserve judgement until Ive heard it

cheers

Paul :D

Hey James, loved the mp3, but I still stand by my comment on this line
We all chit chat and sit and stare
how about something like
lots of talk and the occasional stare

for me it flows better with the rest of the song :D

cheers

Paul

Thanks for the feedback and suggestion, Paul. :D

I wonder if it's a difference in local/cultural slang expressions.

Right now I feel it's saying what I want it tolots of talk and the occasional stare
For me, "lots of talk" implies people are having good conversations and enjoying talking....."occasional stare" seems a bit creepy.
...but I'll think on it.

Thanks again. :wink:

James