SSG11-Week5 Not a Single Word
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12029768
=================Revised Version=====================
You talk, talk, talk
Talk about the food
Talk about the show
Your favorite lines and when you plan to go again
You talk, talk, talk
Talk about your friends
Talk about the weather
Your favorite bands and when you’ll get together again
Pre-chorus
Words are only words and not a single word is missed SILENCE* :wink:
Chorus
When you say it with a kiss, say it with a kiss
Not a single word is missed
Say it with a kiss, say it with a kiss
Not a single word is missed
Say it with a kiss
You talk, talk, talk
Talk about the kids
Talk about the neighbors
The PTO called needing a favor again
You talk, talk, talk
Talk about your job
In-laws and holidays
Walking the dog and bills you need to pay again
pre-chorus > chorus
You talk, talk, talk
Talk about grandkids
One is a dancer
A friend is fighting diagnosed with cancer again
You talk, talk, talk
Talk about your pains
And awkward positions
Memory loss and visits to physicians again
pre-chorus > chorus
=================Original Version=====================
You talk, talk, talk
Talk about the food
Talk about the show
Your favorite lines and when you plan to go again
You talk, talk, talk
Talk about your friends
Talk about the weather
Your favorite bands and when you’ll get together again
Pre-chorus
Words are only words and not a single word
Not a single word, not a single word is missed SILENCE* :wink:
Chorus
When you say it with a kiss, say it with a kiss
Not a single word is missed
Say it with a kiss, say it with a kiss
Not a single word is missed
Say it with a kiss
You talk, talk, talk
Talk about the kids
Talk about the neighbors
The PTO called needing a favor again
You talk, talk, talk
Talk about your job
In-laws and holidays
Walking the dog and bills you need to pay again
pre-chorus > chorus
You talk, talk, talk
Talk about grandkids
One is a dancer
A friend is fighting diagnosed with cancer again
You talk, talk, talk
Talk about your pains
And awkward positions
Memory loss and visits to physicians again
pre-chorus > chorus
James, good use of the pause. The music is pleasant, but needs some variety. The electronic keyboard part added some interest. Otherwise, it's a long song with much repetition. Still a good basic song, which is what songwriting is about. The polished version can come later.
I'm not sure who the singer is addressing. I thought it could either be a significant other who never stops talking or an older person who reminisces all the time. I'm guessing from the last verse that it's someone with memory loss, probably an older relative.
Renee
I didn't find it long or repetitious, but then again I was singing along after the first verse.
Took it to be a lifelong narrative from one partner / spouse to the other, each verse being a different point of time in the story. A great thing about the lyric is that you could easily have someone of either genre singing it or even make a duet out of it by trading verses or lines.
Only suggestion I'd make is (shudder) to either make it (slightly!) tweaking the last pre-chorus, simply because I think making the last pre-chorus double the size of the others would be a good build-up for the last chorus. You could even add backing vocals:
Words are only words and not a single word ("not a single word")
Not a single word ("not a single word")
Not a single word ("not a single word"), not a single word is missed
Just a thought. Another way to do it would be to have the first two prechoruses be shorter:
Words are only words and not a single word is missed
But I don't know if I like that or not. It works, but I've gotten used to the way it currently is already!
Thanks for getting my week off to a great start. If I'm going to have earworm on a Sunday, this is a good one to have.
Looking forward to more.
Peace
needs some variety.
I changed up the prechorus a bit. I think it's working, but it is a bit of a red flag when your verse and chorus start on the same chord.
Otherwise, it's a long song with much repetition.
I cut down the pre-chorus via Dave's suggestion and I think it works a lot better now.
I'm not sure who the singer is addressing. I
I like Dave's thoughts.
Took it to be a lifelong narrative from one partner / spouse to the other, each verse being a different point of time in the story.
That's more what I was going for.
Another way to do it would be to have the first two prechoruses be shorter:
I liked the way that made it better.
Thanks for getting my week off to a great start. If I'm going to have earworm on a Sunday, this is a good one to have.
Thanks for the encouraging words :wink:
Thanks for the listens and posts :D
James
The chorus is definitely catchy. I like the revised version. I think those small changes made a big difference.
After Dave's explanation, I now see that time passes in the song. Duh!
Renee
I like it. It's a welcome departure for you James. Well written and sung.
interesting lyric and a catchy melody, not a single word of suggestions today :D
Hi Renee, MrEWorm and Andy,
I think those small changes made a big difference.
Agreed
It's a welcome departure for you James.
Thanks. It goes back to needing outside opinion. I can't hear much difference in what I am doing, but then again I heard a song I wrote a few years ago and thought, "Well that certainly needs some reworking :lol: "
not a single word of suggestions today :D
:lol:
Thanks for the listens and feedbacks :D
James
