Well… turning point in my life. Got a couple.
But this one was/is a biggie. I quit smoking in December, on the same date my father died 18 years ago.
Hey does this kind of struggle ever have an end?
Blessings. Olav
V1
White fog covers my face
Last breath of this old companion
It’s spirit roaming trough my veins
Deceit lingers in my mouth
V2
Fire arching in the air
Death is crushed to the ground
Friendship of the past left behind
in the ashes that remains
Chorus:
Still I miss you from time to time
Still the aroma is calling
Still the memory takes me back
but for now your grip is gone
V3
Murder in your every breath
Your comfort so deceiving
Your warmth was nothing but a sting
O’ killer of my youth
Chorus:
Still I miss you from time to time
Still the aroma is calling
Still the memory takes me back
but for now your grip is gone
V4 / Bridge
My heel crushed the grip you had
Shackles crumbled to the ground.
I left you there to die
in the ashes of your own
Chorus:
Still I miss you from time to time
Still the aroma is calling
Still the memory takes me back
but for now your grip is gone
I liked it, from what I hear quiting is insanely tough. youy really tell a story. maby you could put some rhyme in it and some alliteration to give it that kinda beat.
Good Job!
No matter what anyone says, these four men were the Innovators! of modern Rock & Roll!
Morse Code... Music on it's own
Hi'a Olav,
Great imagery....... really get the feeling of you quitting. (I am a smoker , so I'll have one for you :lol:
go well
Ja'mir
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
HiOlav
Being an ex-smoker I can relate to the cravings- good take on the assignment.
One line bothered me though
'O Killer of my youth'
I'd substitute this with something less grandiose and more effective such as:
Your warmth was nothing but a sting
As it killed my youth
or
As I blew away my youth
Just a suggestion
Good stuff
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
