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SSG3 Week 46 - Still Blue - by manontheside

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 pbee
(@pbee)
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Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

This song is about a “lovers tiff”, using at least 2 different meanings of blue sky. No mp3 this week cos I'm a bit busy at the moment.

Still Blue
© 2005 pbee

Walking down an unfamiliar street
Feels like a sunset boulevard
There's a fire inside of my head
Its burning deep into my heart

Well Mars is red
In a rage with you
And through it all
The sky on Venus ... is still blue
Its still blue.........

Whoa yeah its still blue

The atmosphere here is so oppressive
The tensions rising and I want to shout
Can't see a clear blue sky horizon
I'm still in love but I'm still in doubt

Well Mars is red
In a rage with you
And through it all
The sky on Venus … is still blue
Its still blue.........

Whoa yeah its still blue

Walking down this unfamiliar street
Dealing with that coolness in your eye
Unresolved cos were both reactive
Your still blue and so am I

Well Mars is red
In a rage with you
And through it all
The sky on Venus … is still blue
Its still blue.........

Whoa yeah we're still blue

-=-=-=-=-=-


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@chris-c)
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Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 3454
 

Excellent job Pbee. been there - felt that!! :wink:

The feeling of swirling emotions you get in that situation came over really well. Tugged one way and then the other... I especially liked "I'm still in love but I'm still in doubt ".

I had a go at playing along and singing to it and really enjoyed it. Odd really, it was less stressful than trying to do my own songs. I suppose because I wasn't trying to record, or make anything much in particular happen I just relaxed and sang.

If you don't mind I might use it for a singing exercise for a few days. 5 ways to sing Still Blue by Pbee. :D


   
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 geoo
(@geoo)
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Pbee

This song is amazing. Lots of feeling, emotion. I love the imagery of the man is mars, women are venus thing. Really like the line
I'm still in love but I'm still in doubt

It perfectly sums up a relationship in trouble. I also like the line
Dealing with that coolness in your eye

Its how I felt when I am arguing with my ex, and she just looks at you like she really couldnt care if you are there or not.

and the ending
Your still blue and so am I

Is a great way to sum it all up.

The only thing that I find wrong, is that it seems to short. I wasnt ready for it to end.

Beautiful song.

Geoo

“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” - David Russell (Scottish classical Guitarist. b.1942)


   
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 Olav
(@olav)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 150
 

Pbee.
Love it. Nice use of imagery.
Only one line got to me.
Feels like a sunset boulevard
Just did not seem to fit the rest, but I don't have a good suggestion for you either. Maybe it's just me. Overall very well written.
Blessings. Olav


   
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 geoo
(@geoo)
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Walking down an unfamiliar street
Feels like a sunset boulevard

I took it to mean that this rift between them is unfamiliar territory. Not something that they usually go through or maybe this is a "rougher" argument than normal. "Feels like a sunset boulevard" as in the sun is fading on their relationship, or so it seems.

Geoo

“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” - David Russell (Scottish classical Guitarist. b.1942)


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
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Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

Thanks for your feedback guys.
Seeing as Im not doing an mp3 this week heres what I had in mind
[Am]Walking down an unfamiliar [Bm]street
[Am]Feels like a sunset boule[Bm]vard
[Am]There's a fire inside of my [Bm]head
[Am]Its burning deep into my [Bm]heart

[Dm]Well Mars is [C]red
In a [Dm]rage with [C]you
And [Dm]through it [C]all
The sky on [F]Venus ... is still [G]blue

or something like that anyway.

Chris,
If you don't mind I might use it for a singing exercise for a few days. Id be honoured mate.

geoo,
The only thing that I find wrong, is that it seems to short. I wasnt ready for it to end. Yeah, fair comment, if I get time Ill put in another verse or maybe a bridge, although Ill have to be careful of not just padding it out. Thanks for that.

Olav,
Feels like a sunset boulevard is meant as geoo says, its like the first time they have really had a "frank exchange of views", not something that they would normally do, but hes feeling so bad that he thinks it might see the end of the relationship.

cheers
pb


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@jadiny)
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Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 83
 

That was really amazing. i loved reading the song, i agree with geo the song was a little short but with a nice instrumental you may not need another bridge or verse.

Good stuff pbee,

thoroughly enjoyed it :D

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you too, can become great.

--Mark Twain


   
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 Celt
(@celt)
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Posts: 2649
 

Pbee,

I like the chord chart it helped me get a better feel for the song
than just reading.

One suggestion (and I know it would screw up your title)

But what if instead ofThe sky on Venus … is still blue

The sky on Venus … is it blue?

I could be totally of base but feel making it a question has
more impact.

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
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(@manontheside)
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Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 179
 

Hey pbee,
agree with geo the song was a little short but with a nice instrumental you may not need another bridge or verse.

I'll second that. Or just hum over the chorus or verse chords, could do wonders as well as increase the length of the song.

I'll allow myself to point out my admiration for a fantastic chorus.
Well Mars is red
In a rage with you

Something about heavenly bodies in songs that just -works- for me :)

I hope you'll find the time to record this later, pbee, wonderful work!

man:)

"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
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Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

jadiny,
Thanks for that, yes I like your idea of an instrumental, cos another stanza is in danger of labouring the point too much. But I do agree it's a bit short.

John,
thanks for your suggestion, I think I can see where your coming from, a sort of “what in the world is going on here” type of question cos this is pretty unknown territory for these two. For my part, the reference to the blue sky is his perception that no matter how hot under the collar he gets (red Mars), it just seams like she's treating him with cool detachment (blue Venus). Its always interesting how different people can get a different perspective on what they read.

Thanks manontheside, Ill certainly do something with it when time allows.

Cheers

pb


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@lotto-king)
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Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 777
 

Hey Pbee

love it , it's a shame your not going to post it as a MP3 , :cry: :cry: :cry:

I thought this was very nice and great imagery well done mate :wink:

cheers
L.K :arrow:

Aghhhh

Not only am I a senior citizen

I'm now a bloody senior member

Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?

over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
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Topic starter  

Thanks LK
it's a shame your not going to post it as a MP3 I will do one but it might take a little while.

Thanks everybody for your feedback, Ive added a couple of lines to each chorus which makes for a nice bridge into the next verse, it also makes the song a little bit longer as well, which I think it needed.
cheers
pb


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@twistedfingers)
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Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 596
 

Agree with Geoo here the whole mars/venus thing was a nice twist.

Excellent stuff.

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- "WOW--What a Ride!"


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
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Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

Well after a little nudge from one of our contributers (who shall remain nameless), Ive finally gotten around to doing an mp3 of this song. Here:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=328886
Ive changed the chords in the verses to Am7 (was Am) and D6 (was Bm) which gives it a different flavour from the original post.
pbee


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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 geoo
(@geoo)
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/Loud cheering inserted here!!

That was terrific. Maybe me wanna go sit in an outdoor pub and have a few drinks. Alas, here I am stuck at work.

Terrific job.. :D

Geoo

“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” - David Russell (Scottish classical Guitarist. b.1942)


   
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