Her songs so lonely
Her songs so blue
Her sounds have faded
As she sits forever
In the corner of the room
Her frets are worn
Her neck is broken
Her sound so sweet
Her sound so blue
The guitar in the corner of the room
I took her to the luthier
Please fix this my old friend
He looked at me sadly
with a downturned lip
With a tear in his eye he said
She can't be repaired
She can't be saved
She'll never play that way again
Her frets are worn
Her neck is broken
Her sound so sweet
Her sound so blue
The guitar in the corner of the room
Made in the thirties by men long gone
Her sounds faded
Her songs so blue
can you hear her
In the corner of the room :?:
"Don't get trapped by the tyranny of four" Rikky Rooksby
nice song, i like the twist in the chorus at the end.
bit concerned though about the lines:
'With a cold and wicked grin
With a tear in his eye and looking at me'
they seem inconsistent, y would the luthier have a wicked grin(presumably taking pleasure in the unfortunate situation) one moment and then in the next line be all empathetic and emotional about the guitar??
other than that its got a nice feel to it.
rob:)
i liked this one
what does "new line" and "old line" mean? i assume this is guitar lingo.. unfortunatley.. i don't know much about guitars, i just play em.
however. my first guitar ever, my mom broke... cracked the neck.. saddest day of my life. i feel for this poem.
to listen to my songs for SSC click here http://www.myspace.com/impossibleobjects
I should tell everyone that I've played guitar for awhile; however, I never get around to the lyrics (30 years of never getting around to it). Well, I have finally got around to it! As a first attempt at songwritting I think it turned out very well and will continue participating in the SSB. I also feel a lttle insecure about commenting on others work since I'm not exactly sure what it's all about myself.
I've viewed most of the SSB3:1 songs. Some are very impressive, some really good, and some I did not like. All however are individual expressions of feeling and emotion.
I'm not exactly sure how the SSB works, if it's just a sunday event, an everyday event, or a whenever event. But I really enjoyed this week.
"Don't get trapped by the tyranny of four" Rikky Rooksby
for a first attempt at songwriting, it is certainly very impressive.
the new lines work well.
as for the way the SSG works, a task gets posted every sunday, and we have a week to write and post up our songs, and mutual critiquing takes place as and when the songs get posted up.
however insecure u feel i'd encourage you to comment on other songs even if it is only 'i think this is very impressive/good/bad' because it is nice as a writer to get a variety of veiws on how people recieve your songs.
but more importantly, to get the most benefit out of the SSG, if for each comment you can identify some of the reasons for your judgement then you will learn alot from the successed and failures of other people that you can apply in your own writing. which is a lot quicker than making all the mistakes yourself! if you give your honest opinion then people will only thank you for it.
hope to see u next week writing and critiquing
rob:)
I re-wrote the last verse. Still lacks the punch at the end that it needs?
Any suggestions on ending?
"Don't get trapped by the tyranny of four" Rikky Rooksby
Mike,
Welcome
Such a sad song. I hate to see a guitar that is not playable. It's like seeing a once great athlete who has ravaged by illness. Lou Gerhig come to mind . Well written I think the last verse has just the right punch to it.
She must of been a real beauty when she was in her prime.
Celt
