It's about family and about how my parents' lives seemed to be like watching bad actors on stage. And yet...
Musically, it's a simple dirge in G in a quick 3/4. Every two song lines is:
a measure of G - a measure of Cadd9
a measure of G - a measure of Cadd9
a measure of G - a measure of Cadd9
a measure of G - a measure of Cadd9 - a measure of Dsus4 followed by Cadd9 - a final measure of G
The Children of Donald and Alice
Somewhere in Georgia Donald is dying
Donald is watching his life floating by
He sees the farm and he sees the army
He sees the woman he weds one July
He sees four children who never get older
He sees the jobs that replace all his dreams
He sees the papers he signs for the lawyers
He watches scene after scene after scene
August in Boston and Alice is tired
She gets so tired so easily these days
No longer working and nobody calling
And somehow the hours still keep slipping away
She dusts the cabinets and puts out fresh flowers
Straightens the bedroom where nobody stays
Watches the TV for hours and hours
Turns out the light and pulls down the shade
In New York and Chicago in Charleston and Reno
The children of Donald and Alice survive
Accountants and salesmen teachers repairmen
Mothers and fathers and husbands and wives
They work 'cause they have to and love when they dare to
Play out the scene and then turn the page
Until just like Donald and Alice before them
They finish their lines and exit the stage
©2005 David Hodge
Wow. Wow oh wow. This is really quite moving. Reminds me of John Prine's "Hello in there."
You've motivated me to get back on track now, Mr. Hodge. Although, this year promises to be even busier than last year, I should be able to carve out a few hours somewhere each week.
Thanks Dave,
-- Scratch 8)
"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42
Excellent stuff David. Seems short, but doesnt mean it is. Maybe I'm just greedy and wanting more. :D
I particularly like this section
No longer working and nobody calling
And somehow the hours still keep slipping away
She dusts the cabinets and puts out fresh flowers
Straightens the bedroom where nobody stays
It reminds me of my grandmother. Lived by herself for a period of time and even though noone stayed in the other 3 bedrooms of her house, she always kept them neat and tidy. Just in case.
Great song
Geoo
“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” - David Russell (Scottish classical Guitarist. b.1942)
It is brilliant. It just rolls off the tongue but more than that it not only matches the aim of the piece but makes us understand a little, if you follow me.
I particularly like the final section it really is excellent.
I do have one small suggestion and that is concerning the first two lines of the second verse. You use the word "tired" twice quite close together. I don't know really what to suggest but you could perhaps replace the first tired with weary. My reason for this suggestion is that although weary does mean tired it is a malady that affects not just the body but the mind and soul also. It is brought on by tough times and is altogether draining, more like a lifelong fatigue than simple tiredness.
I do apologise for taking so long to explain a word choice but I didn't want you to think I was being picky without good reason.
But than that one word I think your lyric is excellent and that you achieved what you set out to do.
Pete. :)
Why Do Other Peoples Shipbuilding When you Could Go Diving For Pearls Of Your Own?
Those last four lines are just top class.
A :-)
"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk
Yarr.. I'm too slow this time! You've gotten faster, Geoo :lol: I agree with Geoo, so.. what he said goes for me as well
I still want to mention that I -loved- that second verse, it creates so many mental images and brings back so many memories. Very good!
:)
man
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
A quick question, David....I'm guessing you played the G like this.....
E - 3
B - 3
G - 0
D - 0
A - 2
E - 3
at least, that's how I played it when I had a run-through earlier....
I'm glad you mentioned the 3/4 timing, that works perfectly....
Lovely piece of writing, just wondering if you're going to be doing it fingerstyle, strummed or both - can't wait to hear it...
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hi David,
I really like your song, there are some nice subtleties in here that appeal to me.
The overall balance of Father , Mother , Children and then the last few lines to start the story again works well. But what I really like is the way you tie each line to previous lines for example:
Somewhere in Georgia Donald is dying
Donald is watching his life floating by
He sees the farm and he sees the army
He sees the woman he weds one July
He sees four children who never get older
He sees the jobs that replace all his dreams
He sees the papers he signs for the lawyers
He watches scene after scene after scene
1 & 2 with Donald
2 & 3 with watching and sees
3 & 4,5,6,7 sees with sees
7 & 8 sees with watches
those subtleties to my mind make for a tight well structured song
Good work :D .
Cheers
pbee
David,
Just awesome! I really enjoyed it, and hope you decide to record & post it. Great job.
Dan
"The only way I know that guarantees no mistakes is not to play and that's simply not an option". David Hodge
Man, that brings a tear to the eye.
WOW, very, very thought provoking.
I'm liking it a lot!!!
Bish
"I play live as playing dead is harder than it sounds!"
Hi David,
I read this three time and it just keeps getting better.
At first I had some trouble with the tense it the first
verse;He sees the woman he weds one July
He sees the papers he signs for the lawyers
But on the reread realized why and must say it is
a brilliant description of the way the mind must work at
that time.
John
My thanks to all for the kudos - it's funny (and I think this happens with everyone) but sometimes I simply hope one person will like it and make the song worth writing. Sometimes I simply hope I'll like it! :wink:
Scratch - Seeing new material from you would truly make me smile. Hope that things calm down a bit and you can get a few contributions on to the SSG.
Geoo and Manontheside - I put a lot of thought into the second verse and I'm glad that it resonated with the two of you. I think we all know people like Alice. Geoo - the song may seem short but it sounds long when I play it. Too long, actually. I'll try to get an MP3 up on Soundclick if I manage to get some other things done first.
Pete - I originally used "tired" because it reminded me of a line in James Joyce's The Dubliners (and curse me to the ends of the earth for not remembering the story). "Weary" is indeed a great choice and now I can't decide whether to use it for the first or second line. I like your idea about the first line but I like the sound of
"...She gets so weary so easily..."
Trouble is, that may be a bit of a tongue-twister. I'll have to try it out.
Alan - as always, you're too kind!
Vic - Spot on with the G chord. Should have written that in the notes. Thanks!
PBee - I don't know if it's because I've been writing a long time or not, but I'm finally getting to a point where some of these "subtleties" happen without my thinking. Some writers think that's the whole point of practice. Maybe if I spent more time writing the SSG assignments it would come even more easily! :wink:
Dan and bish - Glad you both liked it and I will try, as I mentioned, to dash off a copy of this sometime soon.
John (Celt) - I used to think a lot about the whole "a person's life flashes before his/her eyes" and that probably was part of the inspiration for this verse. Part of it also, no doubt, comes from the last line of If You See Her Say Hello:
"...Sundown yellow moon I replay the past
I know every scene by heart they all went by so fast..."
And the whole idea of simply seeing individual scenes and having to make the connection between them seems a lot more plausible than spelling everything out. Sometimes that's a hard way to write because I hate leaving little things to chance. But I'm glad it worked in this case. It doesn't always. You weren't here for SSG Year 1 when I wrote something early in the week and then spent the whole rest of the week (and several weeks afterwards) explaining what I wrote! :wink:
Again, my thanks to everyone who read and wrote (or simply read!). Looking forward to reading and kibbitzing on your songs!
Peace
I -love- If you see her say hello, in fact I just played it :)
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
Classic Hodge; destined for the Greatest Hits album, for sure!
I've really got to get back on the stick with my songwriting, and I really have to start psoting early. I can't follow all these great tunes!
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
