Preamble (or "Why the song doesn't seem to fit the assignment")
The top result for a search of my name give the answer page to a series of brain teasers where I either provided the answer or corrected a given answer. I thought this was a fitting synopsis of my life: always striving for the "right answer". However, the detrimental side of always being right is that it pushes out room for "getting the point". Knowledge puffs up. Love builds up.
Disclaimer
I think the song is too preachey, and it is not done. The chorus is incomplete, as is the first half of the second verse. However, I'll never post if I wait for a song to be finished, so here it is.
Couldn't Care Less
© 2006 Robert Gowland
Have you heard the one about the man who
Reached down to help another man who
Slapped him in the face
But neither man mattered
So I never really noticed
Couldn't tell you what happened
Chorus:
I couldn't care less
That I couldn't care less
About anyone else
If I tried
Have you found the question to your answers
Cause I find your answers less filling than I used to
I'm used to...
Welcome to the Kilimanjaro
Of the molehill choices you never thought would bother you
But they bother you
Yes they do
Chorus:
Have you heard the one about the man who
Reached down to help another man
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
LOL - you took a round-about way of fulfilling the assignment, but it seems to work.....
It is a little preachy, yes, but it's also nicely cynical....
Only part that doesn't work for me is, "Cause I find your answers less filling than I used to" - I'd lose "cause" and change filling to fulfilling (weird, I used that word already!) - shouldn't interfere with the rhythm, and might read a little better.....
And like you said, it's unfinished - may need another verse, or a closing statement telling us why you don't care - and is it one person in particular you don't care about or the world at large?
:) :) :)
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hey SP,
Welcome back. I like it so far, I like the conversational flow this song where each line is a continuation of the previous. There's also another little technique in here that I like, in fact that last song I wrote, not published here (yet) uses the same one, and that is to repeat yourself in subsequent lines:
I used to
I'm used to...
Of the molehill choices you never thought would bother you
But they bother you
I like it, I think it works.
Cheers
Paul
Looks like a decent start (great use of the word "Kilimanjaro"!) but if I say one thing it would be that you should definitely make the effort to finish it, because an average-but-complete song is worth five times what a great-but-unfinished song is.
