Hiya!
I got my inspiration from this Italian pizza/pasta-place I went to Sunday. There was this photo of a castle there in almost dreamy surroundings. Now, I'm going waaaaay out of bounds on the topic of the photo, but inspiration is inspiration. I started thinking about imagination, fairytales etc and wondered if I should try writing a song for kids. I'm not a father (yet... or that I know of :shock: ) which made it even more of a challenge. This is intended to be sort of a lullaby.
Now, I haven't added any music yet and this is pretty much a rough sketch. I'm not at all done, the meter is probably off and I'm not done with words or verses. I'm somewhat happy with the first verse, but very uncertain about the second and third. I'm also not sure about the "No matter how hard it seems" line, but it's there for now, I intend to change it once I come up with something better.
MP3 uploaded at my dmusic space now; Land of dreams
Or browse http://kwl.dmusic.com , I put up a Sunday Songwriters folder there.
So, here goes :)
********1st edit
Land of dreams
Colour the canyons with your favourite crayon
Draw a purple sun upon the sky
Bring back a star for me
once you've learned to fly
No matter how hard it seems
You can do anything in your land of dreams
Bring out the trumpets, miles of red carpet
Be Cinderella every night
Dancing with a handsome prince
Twirl across the ballroom from left to right
No matter how hard it seems
You can do anything in your land of dreams
With the wink of an eye and whisper of a magic word
you enter this amazing land
if you tell me how it looks
I'll be there holding your hand
No matter how hard it seems
You can do anything in your land of dreams
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
Nicely done, my daughter likes it as well, so I would say you are on the right track for a lullaby. I especially like the imagery of the Father reaching out his hand to his child
With the wink of an eye
you enter this amazing land
if you tell me how it looks
I'll be there holding your hand
and sharing in the childs wonderland
Immature? Of course I'm immature Einstein, I'm 50 and in a Rock and ROll band.
New Band site http://www.myspace.com/guidedbymonkeys
Doesn't look as if it needs much work to me....not too hard to fit this to a rhyming pattern as it is....
paints a nice vivid picture of a child's fantasy land ("Draw a purple sun upon the sky")....
let us know if you manage to come up with some music for it....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
I like it too MOTS... Very vivid. That makes for great songs.
Geoo
ps.. I have found several pictures to draw from... but cant figure out what I want to say about any of them.
“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” - David Russell (Scottish classical Guitarist. b.1942)
Hi Mots,
Im with the rest, this is good. There are just a couple of things that I will say though, that might be worth thinking about.
Draw a purple sun upon the sky
In my experience with children, my own and others I have never seen, a child draw the sun purple, without fail they draw the sun yellow or red.
Float as he holds you tight
I think "holds you tight" is an adult concept "holds your hand" (as you use later) is more of a child concept.
Other than that this is good :D .
cheers
pbee
Manontheside,
I have to agree and disagree with Pbee.
I agree on the "holds you tight" issue. It's isn't
a childs concept.
Although I can't think of anything that works and
preserves the rhyme.
On the "purple sun" I disagree. I've seen children
color things in many different ways.
Anyways I like this song and think the"No matter how hard it seems"
works fine.
John
Thanks all,
pbee and John,
Yeah, I've been worried about that myself. "holds you tight" -is- an adult concept, even though not really meant in that way here. It's not a big problem, I've got another line ready. Still, I'm not sure whether to scrap the whole verse and make it more general so that everything in the song would apply to both boys and girls.
I'll have to continue working on the lyrics, perhaps I'll come up with something.
As for the purple sun, Vic got it right. It isn't about how a child perceives the world, it's about the freedom to change anything to whatever you like and not having anyone tell you that the sun isn't purple :)
The music is more or less ready. I wanted more verses, but it goes on for a bit since there's a bit of humming involved. I think humming is in place, it is, after all, a lullaby. Anyway, the song goes into my "somewhat finished"-drawer. Let me know if you fall asleep when you listen to it, mp3 will be up later today :)
Thanks for comments and feedback, hope you'll drop a comment if you give it a listen :)
:)
-man
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
