Okay... Subject: the writing of a song =P There are a lot of songs out there about really silly subjects… (best example I can think of right now: Peaches by the Presidents of the USA) I've never really tried that, until now. I've never really tried rhyming too... I can't record anything now as my parents are sleeping already, but you can comment it anyhow =D
My Happy Song
Today I'm gonna write a happy song
Just about the fact of writing it
I hope everyone will sing along
Because I will make the lyrics fit (I know, stupidest line ever =X)
Okay so now you know what I'm at
I'll try to make it happen
Maybe by writing ‘bout a blue cat
Or maybe it won't happen at all (little ritenuto here)
This is my happy song (tempo I, maybe bit faster)
Written for everyone
To listen (to) at a horrible day
So it'll be a bit brighter (not too happy with this "chorus" either)
I sure should be careful now
And not let the happiness slip
Maybe I'd introduce a gloomy cow
But that sure would be a dip
Here is my advice to all of you
Writing about your troubles
Is something you really should do
If you want to get rid of them all (maybe another rit.)
This is my happy song
Written for everyone
To listen to at a horrible day
So it'll be a bit brighter
You know what the best part is?
I could go on forever
Nothing can be wrong with this
As this is just a happy song (just some useless "filling" huh)
This is my happy song
Written for everyone
To listen to at a horrible day
So it'll be a bit brighter
(okay you might have noticed there's quite a bit I don't really like, but I don't have much time this week... most days I'll be away from 7am to 8pm, giving me not much time so I'll just leave this is as it is with you guys)
it kind of reminds me of the rem "dance" song "stand in the place were you are, now face north"... it sort of has that sort of self consious but innocent feel to it. there are a lot of places where it doesn't fit the rhyme scheme called upon by the assignment, though.
Hi Karla,
Well I don't quite know how to critique this song cos I'm not sure what your your objectives were in writing it. I agree with brothertupelo in as much as, if your objectives were to try rhyming then I think there's a little more work to be done here. I really hope you do get some time to finish it, cos you have a good idea for a song here and I think you should stick with it.
Because I will make the lyrics fit (I know, stupidest line ever =X)
I totally disagree with you here, I think this is an excellent line for that verse, although I might be tempted to use:
Today I'm gonna write a happy song
Just about the fact of writing it
And I hope everyone will sing along
So I'll make the lyrics fit
that way you link it to the line above.
All that said, the whole point of these assignments is to push yourself a little bit and step out of your comfort zone, BUT at your own pace. If time only allows you to get a draft version out, then that's fine by me, so keep up the good work.
Cheers
pbee
:D
Yeah, Karla, I agree with Pbee on both the change as well as that the line fits in great with the rest of the song. Like bro, too, I think it needs some work on rhyming and stuff, but I think it's a great idea, and could be a really good song. If you do get to work on it a bit, I hope you'll submit it again. Try carrying a pen and paper with you everywhere you go. I run pretty short on time too, but most of my writing is done sort of on the go--or more accurately--on the wait. whenever I have to wait--whether it's on line or in a waiting room, between classes, whatever, my mind's always going, so that's when I do a lot of my writing. If I waited till I could sit down and write with no interruptions in a relaxed setting, I'd either never have time to write or when I got to that point, I'd probably go blank. Some of my best ideas come when I don't have pen and paper, but thankfully, I have a pretty decent memory. Anyway, hope you can work it out, 'cause I'd really like to see this song again. Thanks.
Joe
