Skip to content
Notifications
Clear all

ssg6wk6 - grip

5 Posts
3 Users
0 Likes
1,124 Views
(@portia)
Reputable Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 179
Topic starter  

don't know about that title, really - just picked something for now:

GRIP

V1
Will you be my pride?
Will you be my shame?
Will you show me who I am by stripping me away?
Give me control
Make me adored
While you consume me, leave me always needing more

CH
Fingers grab ahold
tightening around my throat
Feel them start to slip
one day I'll release my grip

V2
Gotta see the lie
in your partial truths
Gotta close my eyes and get a clearer view of you
You made every smile
drive me away
While every cruel, inhuman taunt made me beg you to stay

CH
Fingers grab ahold
tightening around my throat
Feel them start to slip
one day I'll release my grip

BR
You the siren fill my mind
masquerade as all I want to find
Wishes filled, not satisfied
Love and hatred intertwined

CH
Fingers grab ahold
tightening around my throat
Feel them start to slip
one day I'll release my grip
Feel them start to slip
why can't I release my grip?


   
Quote
 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Hi Portia,
this one fits the assignment well. The way I'm reading this is that it is an internal dialog, I think it works pretty well, I like the last chorus especially the last line. Looking forward to hearing it, if you get a chance to record it

cheers
Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
ReplyQuote
(@portia)
Reputable Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 179
Topic starter  

thanks for the reply - yeah, I'm trying to decide if the choruses are best left as they are or if maybe all of them should be 'why can't I release my grip' rather than having the 'one day I'll release my grip' ones in there until the end ... if anyone has an oppinion on that, let me know ...

as for recording, that will be quite a while probably - I was having trouble getting started and needed a bit of a musical jump off point for this one, so wrote it (melody/lyrics) to sections of recorded jams that my band had done and recorded (cut and pasted bits I decided sounded like chorus accompaniment, verse accompaniment, etc - I write that way a lot) and I'm not sure they would approve of me posting a cut and pasted practice jam performance as my backing track for all to hear :-p ... but if we end up picking it up and playing a real version of it they wouldn't mind people hearing I will post it for sure :-)


   
ReplyQuote
 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Hi Portia,
if this was my song I would leave it as you have it. That last line to me is quite powerful where it is and my be diluted a bit if you use it in each of the verses.

cheers
Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
ReplyQuote
(@alangreen)
Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 5342
 

Welcome home, Portia. This has the feel of some of your great early stuff here.

A :-)

"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk


   
ReplyQuote