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SSG7 - Week 44 - If I had time - *** mp3 version2 ***

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 pbee
(@pbee)
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Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

I haven't written a blues song for ages so I thought I would have a go. Surprisingly by the time you add an intro and all the turnarounds to this song its over 3 minutes long. I havent quite sorted out the music for the bridge yet so the mp3 is still a couple of days away (depends on whats on TV tonight :wink:).

mp3 version2 can be found here http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8048447

If I had time
© 2009 Copyright Paul Brady

Time is a universal currency
Time is a price paid just to be
And if I had time babe
I'd be as rich as rich could be

Time is like a commodity
And I need you to share some time, share some time with me
And if I had time babe
I'd be living in ecstasy

But I ain't got the time
Got no time for regret
I ain't got no time
Lets just forgive and forget

Time is a universal currency
And we got to pay, we got to pay what is due
But if I had more time babe
I'd spend it all on you

Version 2
========
Time is a universal currency
Time is a price paid just to be
And if I had time babe
I'd be as rich as rich could be

Time is like a commodity
And I need you to share some time, share some time with me
And if I had time babe
I'd be living in ecstasy

But I ain't got the time
ain't got time for the rest
No I ain't got the time
Cos babe it's your time that's the best

Time is a universal currency
And I'm gonna pay, gonna to pay what is due
But if I had more time babe
I'd spend it all on you


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@stikman)
Reputable Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 237
 

Nice. I like the currency analogy. Good playing and singing.

"All battles are first won or lost in the mind." - Joan of Arc

"It took me about 20 years to figure out how to write without inspiration. Thankfully, I got there." - Leon Russell


   
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 KR2
(@kr2)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 2717
 

Much bueno, Senor Bee.
My housekeeper also sends her compliments. (She was in the room while I was listening)
She doesn't speak English that well . . . but spoke it well enough to say she likes the blues and liked your song.

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.


   
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(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Hola Paul,

Quiero la guitarra que juega y canta también.....I mean

Hi Paul,

I like the guitar playing and singing also. :lol:

I am getting mixed messages from the singer.....on one hand, he wants to be in a relationship with the other person....on the other hand, he doesn't have the time to be with the person?.....but no details as to why.......then it sounds like the start of a new relationship......but then it also sounds like a we broke up and I want to get back together b/c of the "regret" lines.....

Suggestion:

Clarify the relationship between singer and singee......

one idea.....What if you tried it as a straight up request for the person's time to start a new love relationship?....and the punch line or sales pitch is "you give me your time, and I'll spend it all on you"

For example:

Time is a universal currency
Time is a price paid just to be
And if YOU had THE time babe
I'd be as rich as rich could be

Time is like a commodity
And I need you to share some time, share some time with me
And if YOU had THE time babe
I'd be living in ecstasy

But YOU SAY YOU ain't got the time
Got no time for regret
YOU ain't got no time
Lets just forgive and forget

Time is a universal currency
And we got to pay, we got to pay what is due
And if YOU GAVE ME THE time babe
I'd spend it all on you

James


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

señores de muchas gracias :D

but then it also sounds like a we broke up and I want to get back together b/c of the "regret" lines...
yes that was the idea behind the lines
Clarify the relationship between singer and singee......
Yes point taken how about:
But you got lots of time
Lots time for regret
Yeah you got lots of time
I say forgive and forget

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

"but then it also sounds like a we broke up and I want to get back together b/c of the "regret" lines..."
yes that was the idea behind the lines
OK.....Then consider setting up/clarifying the relationship in the first verse.


   
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 KR2
(@kr2)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 2717
 

To me, those changes make the song make more sense.
Excellent suggestions, JT.

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

To me, those changes make the song make more sense.
You mean the song has to make sense ? – doh!

In the first version my intention was:
Establish time as a tradeable entity
Reveal that it's her time/attention/love he wants
Give some context i.e. they've had some past issue
If she forgives him he will make worth her while.

In the second version my intention is:
Establish time as a tradeable entity
Reveal that it's her time/attention/love he wants
Forget the context, but reinforce that it's her time (cos her time is best)
The more time/attention/love she gives him the more time/attention/love she gets

Ok so here goes, the bridge has changed, without regret (pun intended :lol: )

Version 2
========
Time is a universal currency
Time is a price paid just to be
And if I had time babe
I'd be as rich as rich could be

Time is like a commodity
And I need you to share some time, share some time with me
And if I had time babe
I'd be living in ecstasy

But I ain't got the time
ain't got time for the rest
No I ain't got the time
Cos babe it's your time that's the best

Time is a universal currency
And I'm gonna pay, gonna to pay what is due
But if I had more time babe
I'd spend it all on you


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@coolnama)
Prominent Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 590
 

Quiero la guitarra que juega y canta también.....

Lol James what you just said means = I want the guitar that plays and sings too. Technically I like = me gusta.

So the correct translation would be = I like the guitar playing and singing too = Me gusta como tocas guitarra y como cantas tambien. :D

LOL sorry :P
señores de muchas gracias

Sirs of much grace ? lol

I wanna be that guy that you wish you were ! ( i wish I were that guy)

You gotta set your sights high to get high!

Everyone is a teacher when you are looking to learn.

( wise stuff man! )

Its Kirby....


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
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Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

Sirs of much grace ? lol

I guess this is what happens when you use and online translator :oops:

cheers
Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Thanks, Coolnama :wink:
I guess this is what happens when you use and online translator :oops:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Exactly! We must have used the same free on line translator
or
¡Exactamente! Debemos haber utilizado al mismo traductor en línea libre
or
when translated back again to English reads......

Exactly! We must have utilized the same translator in line free
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
That's fun....I think I will translate one of my songs into Spanish and back into English and see what happens....could make for good material since week 45 is about "writers"

Here is the web site I used http://ets.freetranslation.com/


   
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