SSG9 - Week2 - Gaia - *** mp3 ***

Hi Paul

Good to see you again and nice work on this.

I took the liberty of adding apostrophes to change nothings to "nothing's," since I took that to be your meaning. Hope that's okay.

I particularly like the chorus and wonder if, maybe the last time through, you might substitute "we" for "they" as I think that making "we" and "they" equal helps put the "needs to believe" and "used to believe" on equal footing as well.

Looking forward to hearing this should you get the chance to record it.

Peace

Thanks David, nothing's been edited :wink: .
Using we is a great idea, thanks for that. I think it also reinforces the idea that maybe we've lost something. In fact Im tempted to use we in all the choruses.

cheers
Paul

Thanks David, nothing's been edited :wink: .

Yes, that would be me getting ready to do something helpful and then having to stop what I was doing to do something else here at home! Sorry!

At least the suggestion was actually helpful! And I like the "we" throughout as well but was a little timid about suggesting it.

Peace

Done :D

Good to see you again and nice work on this.

+1 to that.

I remember the Gaia imagery being used before in SSG
Turns out it was
http://forums.guitarnoise.com/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=21785&start=0&hilit=Gaia

That doesn't take anything away from your song I just found it interesting.

:note1: :note1: :note1:

John

Ive uploaded an mp3 here

Nice song pbee. I think it's good to question how our beliefs and assumptions manifest themselves. It seems like sometimes we lose sight of certain things. That is as far as I'll go with that :D.

The word contrite in the first line does not go with the rest of the language. The rest of the song is fairly direct so maybe guilty or another word would serve better.

I'm not sure what the 3rd verse means. Are you saying there are many paths? The first and fourth lines do not seem to jibe with the inner two.

A performance note, instead of stopping mid-line it might sound much smoother to sometimes sing thru it, legato, like "You know I thiiiiiiiiiinknothing's changed". You could do it on every line or first and fourth lines or just the first. Something to mix it up. An idea.

Good one. Nice voice and playing.

Ernie

Hi Paul,

Sounding good :D
The word contrite in the first line does not go with the rest of the language.
Contrite seemed to draw the wrong attention for me, too.
Maybe something like "Like the need for Gods, guilt or (shame/pain)
A performance note, instead of stopping mid-line it might sound much smoother to sometimes sing thru it, legato, like "You know I thiiiiiiiiiinknothing's changed". You could do it on every line or first and fourth lines or just the first. Something to mix it up. An idea.
I like this idea as well.
Is Gaia a God or is she not
Wouldn't it be goddess?....or maybe goddess has lost its effect and is more attributed to beauty instead of power these days.

Thanks for sharing :wink:

James

Hi again, Paul

Totally was expecting something different in terms of music and am happier you went this way. The music - melody and harmonies - are elegant and simple and work very well. I'm going to disagree with folks on the "contrite" line simply because it works well with the melody. Reading it, it's definitely weird, but if I only got the chance to hear it one time without the benefit of notes (as one would at a performance), it would be one of the lines I'd remember well.

I can hear a call and response going on in the chorus with a background group of singers singing the "need / used to believe in" part.

Nice job.

Peace

Wonderful, Paul.

Since the 'contrite' line drew attention, I looked at it and came up with

Like the need for Gods and contrite pain

Like the need for Gods to help explain

Ernie and James, contrite is certainly a standout word as is sacrifice. My thinking behind using those words is to provoke the listener into thoughts of “acts of contrition” or “sacrificial offerings” as in days gone by to “green taxes” in modern times. For me it's not so much about guilt but atonement. This is pretty much summarized in the third verse, but atonement of sins doesn't stop the sinning.
A performance note, instead of stopping mid-line it might sound much smoother to sometimes sing thru it, legato, like "You know I thiiiiiiiiiinknothing's changed". You could do it on every line or first and fourth lines or just the first. Something to mix it up. An idea.
Yes I know what you mean, something to address those gaps. My original intention has to have some choral background going on in there and had lined up my wife (the choir of angels) to do the vocals but we ran out of time last night. Thanks guys.

James, God, Goddess, “Tom ate to”, “Tom art to”, I plead artistic licence :D .

David
I can hear a call and response going on in the chorus with a background group of singers singing the "need / used to believe in" part.
Yes me too, thanks for that.

Ken , thanks for the feedback.

Cheers

Paul

Yes I know what you mean, something to address those gaps. My original intention has to have some choral background going on in there and had lined up my wife (the choir of angels) to do the vocals but we ran out of time last night.

OH YEAH "Choir of Angels" Where's the "Choir of Angels" :?:

Very nice Paul. I can hear this fully orchestrated in my mind,with strings and yes, a background chorus of angels!