The question Song { Edited } MP3 now added

The answer is NO. You can't lie. But you CAN change your mind! :wink:

So far so good with this song. I don't know about the word "cheesy" in the context of this song. The words sound natural up to there, then it sounds like you were trying too hard to find something that fits. You can probably find something else that rhymes with easy pretty easily! Do you have a rhyme book, BTW? Ever once in a while a rhyme dictionary comes in handy for ideas.

The answer is NO. You can't lie. But you CAN change your mind! :wink:

Spoken words of a true woman :D :D :D :D

I do have a rhyme book , O K I 'll use it more often :lol:

"cheesy" Wasn't a just a rhyme it was meant to be , when someone says something deeply and very much true them selves it some times comes across "cheesy" ..Easy was my actual what rhymes with "cheesy" and not the other way around .
But point taken , I will re-visit that whole stanza ..

Thanks for your feed back

Cheers

Trevor

"Cheesy" seemed OK to me - it's in common usage in England, might not be in the States. In that stanza, however, "steep" did look forced to me - course, it may be perfectly OK in Oz......

In this verse;

"Is everything we say
A oath to be kept
Or words that are thrown away
Like the tears that are wept"

I stumbled a bit on the third line, might sound better if you dropped "that are"....

"Is everything we say,
An oath to be kept,
Or words blown away,
Like the tears that we wept...."

Hmm, "blown away" sneaked in there somehow....instead of thrown away....maybe....

"Is everything we say,
An oath or a sin,
Words blown away,
Like tears on the wind...."

Oooops, sorry, getting carried away with re-writing, when in all honesty it didn't need much tweaking - gets the point across for me anyway. Good to see you finally finished a song Trev, keep 'em coming mate!

:D :D :D

Vic

Thanks Vic ... consider that stolen :lol: :lol:

Sitting here with guitar in hand , and its amazing your re-write is much easier for me to get out rather than the words I had ...

It may take me a bit ,,but I want to record this strum pattern I have been using is 2 measures each chord D/U/D/U/U/Palm mute ...Musical interlude same strum but only 1 measure ....Like I said it might take me a while I ain't no guitar player or singer :lol: .... I have a question though what pentatonic scale would suit these chords ? I might have a go at some lead as well :lol: :lol: :lol: A short demo is here
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6340602
G / / /
So what is a promise
Em / / /
And what is a vow
G / / /
Do I have to be honest
Em / / /
Can I lie some how

C / / /
"Is everything we say,
G / / /
An oath or a sin,
C / / /
Words blown away,
G / / /
Like tears on the wind...

Musical interlude Em - G - C - Em -

C / / /
I said I promised
G / / /
And so did you
C / / /
I was being honest
G / / /
So what about you

C / / /
Talk is so easy
G / / /
And its so cheap
C / / /
Was it so cheesy
G / / /
Was it so steep

Musical interlude Em - G - C - Em -

G / / /
So what is a promise
Em / / /
And what is a vow
G / / /
Do I have to be honest
Em / / /
Can I lie some how

G / / /
So is this the promise
Em / / /
And this the vow
G / / /
Are we both being honest
Em / / /
With out lies some how

I added a MP 3 for some silly reason , who knows why

Hi Tevor,

Silly reasons are the best! You're really starting to put everything together mate. Singing (yes, you heard me!) . . . music . . . . lyrics. It's really amazing to see the progress you have made. Keep it up!

Neil

Thanks Neil .

I currently have the flu , that was my reference to silly ...

Thanks for your encouragement and support mate

Trev.. :wink:

Trev,

I agree with Neil, you've put this song together nicely well done. I'm not that fussed on the "cheesy" line but its not big deal. Nice guitar work in there too,

cheers
Paul

Thanks for the feed back Paul

I was actually thinking of you the other day , going to see Jack Johnson and Split Endz

Lucky bugger :lol: :lol:

Cheers

Trev.. :wink:

A friend and I , played with this and came up with this version ....

I play rhythm and vocals :oops: :oops:

Tom played lead and flute .. But not at the same time :D :D :D

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6407118

We like it anyways :D :D :D :D :D

Trev.. :wink: