Hello All,
First time post. Really enjoy reading everone's work. Some great talent in here!
Underfoot (Rocketgirl)
Underfoot they called him
Young Johnny's claim to fame
Underfoot they called him
He didn't have much to say
Understood but underfoot
It was simply Johnny's way
They Never Knew (Constantyne)
They never knew what hit them
They never knew at all
They never saw the writing
That was scrolled upon the wall
They never knew what hit them
They never knew at all
The lightning flashed, the toll was paid
And they never felt the fall
No, they never felt the fall.
Lord, This Used to be Easy (Slow Play)
Lord, this used to be easy, just playing in the band
Sailing out upon my dreams, with pockets full of sand
But these days it ain't that easy Lord, I just work my life away
Forever broke and busted, yet there's always hell to pay
jojolargo,
It is nice to have you along with us, welcome to the family.
You picked an interesting week to make you first post. Your work is good, I liked your interpretation of "Lord This Used to be Easy."
My favorite line is "Sailing out upon my dreams, with pockets full of sand " I think that the last line is perhaps the weakest on in the chours, have you thought about dropping the word "yet" from the second part of the line? It may lend strength to line and give it a sense of tension that I think, and it's only my thought, you were trying for.
All my rambelings aside, welcome to the forum. Looking forward to many inspired posts from you.
Hey!! Who moved my cheese???
They say that only 1 song in 100 is good!?! I think I need a lot more scratch paper!!!
welcome
I realy like "Lord, This Used to be Easy"
I tend to agree with redrider on the "yet" part
great work hope to see more of you
mystic
Thanks for the suggestions!
I have to agree, the "yet" needs to go.
Hey jojolargo, welcome.
Just to add my 2 cents. I agree with what everyone is saying about the "yet" in Lord, this used to be easy. If you need a syllable in there to make it flow, you could try "'cause" (slang form of because), or if you want to change up the timing a bit, you could take out the "there's" as well:
These days it ain't that easy Lord, I just work my life away
Forever broke and busted, always hell to pay
Whatever works with the music.
Nice work on the title, by the way, I like the mood you create for it.
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
Thanks SlowPlay
Works well without "yet and there's". Nice and smooth. Thanks for the input!
