Hey, wrote this a minute ago.....struggled badly with this one but.....
Mundesely
As we wander through these streets
The daylight slowly fades away
And the puddles beneath our feet
Ripple like echoes to the drains
And we stand close to the beach
Streetlights burning up like flames
The waters wake from their sleep
And we can see the star light shine across the waves
Now we have come this far
Theres no need for me to hide
I know you'll always be in my heart
While these memory's inside
No matter if this falls apart
If its broken away in time
Im glad i have come this far with you
And we walk through the night
To somewhere were calling home
Together for the first time
After so long being alone
The reflection of our lives
Shines In all that we know
This is our moment in time
To be who we are and show the world that we can glow
Now we have come this far
Theres no need for me to hide
I know you'll always be in my heart
While these memory's inside
No matter if this falls apart
If its broken away in time
Im glad i have come this far with you
Rain Shadow
You haven't thrwn in an awful lot of imagery about travelling....just the first and last line fo each chorus, and the first line of the verses...but that's OK, because the imagery in between is strong enough to grab the reader's attention...
Saw this as sort of a slow ballad with minimal backing...probably not how you see it yourself....
And I haven't got a clue what the title means....guessing it's something personal....
Nice job.
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
hey ya:)
the first verse is brilliant!
wonderful images... beautiful mood.......
I enjoyed reading this.
keep it up.
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Hey, thanks guys!! really appreciate your replys....Yeah Vic i guess your right...there isnt much travelling imagery......it was more about a holiday experiance........Mundesely is a little holiday resort....near Cromer... (UK residents will prob know where that is)......ill try to re-write it with some more of the travelling aspect imagery in it later at some point. But thanks for the reply!!!.
And thanks as well BNA....glad you liked it :)
Thanks again
NeM
Rain Shadow
LostBeggining
Very Nice!
I could be way of base on this since I don't know where you're going musically with this.
The chorus seem to end a little abruptly Like it could one more line.
As I said I could be way off base, just my impression.
Celt
hey ya:)
the first verse is brilliant!
wonderful images... beautiful mood.......
I enjoyed reading this.
keep it up.
bluenightangel
Ditto.
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
hey peeps!! wow...thanks for your replys!!!....and yeah Celt...i guess your right...it originally was gunna have another two lines but the ones i kept thinking of seemed to break the flow for whatever reason...so i left it out.....hmmmm...but yeah your right though........
Thanks again people!!!
+
Rain Shadow
