Week 23--Why'd You Have To

Wrote this back in '99 or 2000 I think. Tucked it away. Revisit it from time to time. Have a cathartic moment. Rewrite it. Tuck it away. And so on. This is the latest rewrite from last night. Maybe I finally got it right. Maybe not. There's always next year.

Why'd You Have To....
COPYRIGHT©2007J KOVAK

The first time I saw Superman cry
I was just a small child
He found me in the sandbox at the park
Guess I'd been sitting there awhile
He held me tight and agonized
Over something I must've known
How to answer me when I asked him
When you're coming home

But I didn't ask when you were coming home
He must've wondered why I didn't cry
When I was sitting there all alone
All that time while he was trying to find
A way to answer me when I asked
But I didn't ask and then the moment passed
Then he held me tight against his steel chest and cried, why'd
You have to
Make Superman cry
Oh why'd you have to….

Through the years he kept you in his heart
And he tried to keep you in mine
But what little I remembered
I forgot over time
I didn't feel the need to know you
But I know now that's a lie
And I even wondered why sometimes
But not enough to try

No, I didn't ask when you were coming home
He must've wondered why I didn't cry
When I was sitting there all alone
All that time while he was trying to find
A way to answer me when I asked
But I didn't ask and then the moment passed
Then he held me tight against his steel chest and cried, why'd
You have to
Make Superman cry
Oh why'd you have to….

Insomnia an alternative
To dreams that'd haunt my sleep
Through cynical jokes and reckless feats
I fought the urge to weep
But my façade could only last as long as
I found ways to fill the void
Or until recurring dreams became
Impossible to avoid

When my shell of indifference crumbled down
There was no place left to hide
From childhood memories tainted by your
Accident-icide
I didn‘t ask, didn't care
Or just didn't dare
To ask him where you'd gone
Or ask whether
You'd be home soon
I thought indifference was better
‘Cause I knew his answer would be
No, son, never

I didn't ask when you were coming home
I already knew what happened to you
When I was sitting there all alone
Wondering why you never said good-bye
And I learned so much from Superman
Like how to become a man
And how to cry the tears of that child
Who could never understand—why
You had to
Make Superman cry
Why'd you have to….