Week 31: Summers dream

I like that twist , where it seems to go from being about the season to someone being the summer in some one elses life. I like that and it kind of makes you think.

Some nice words in here. Do you have music yet? I know I always end up changing stuff around when I set it to music. Adding or omitting to fit the meter.
You haven't had that same
look in your eyes
Since the clouds broke
and the sun shown down on your sorrow.

You haven't laughed
In so long child
I was afraid for myself
and this worlds tomorrow

Of course it depends on how you sing it, but just on the read it seems like this is slightly off. Maybe you can just omit the word down in the first verse.
Cause you are hope
a summers dream
with you around
nobody worries about one thing
They just sing.

Maybe change one to a
You haven't walked
that brave step
I know that grace
I couldn't forget

and the damage that is done
gets undone when you
wish it true
what can I do
To always be next to you

Nice. Last line can be tweaked, maybe. To be close to you. Or even To be with you--something.

Hi Saber

Good interpretation of the assignment and kind of along the lines with what I was trying to suggest to Ghost for his post this week.

Touch uneven in the verse lengths and I'm not really sure that

nobody worries about one thing
They just sing

works that well (mind you this is in my head) and I'd be tempted to just make it one line

nobody worries, they just sing

I must admit I'm hearing in a kind of Travis vibe.

Otherwise good stuff

Bob :wink:

Thanks you guys. And, surprisingly, I actually wrote it to a beat, so I'm pretty sure it works. I think I might have seperated the lines wrong though, so thats probably what's throwing everyone off.

As far as music, I don't really know. I did this weeks challange to try and expand my horrizons lyrically with a happy song, but now that it's done it doesn't keep my interest too much. We'll see though.

PEACE!!