Hi guys, this song is a kind of summary of what me and the guys tend to get up to on our days free from work
(and as a student thats quite a few lol)
I haven't written a non-ryming song before, hope it's OK!
I toyed with the idea of putting in a verse-breaker or bridge, but settled on
leaving the verses to flow together.
Out on the Town
A night to forget
(And we probably will)
A Friday
Pay-check in my pocket
No ties to bind
Our necks to collars
Its open shirt
Wear the good shoes
A closer shave
(Gotta look your best)
Aftershave
Slight sting, it's worth it
Tonight's the night
Above all else
Have a drink, and flirt
Come home with some numbers
A smoky pub
(Aftershave pulls through)
Eye catching
Grab a drink from the bar
Table 32
Our weekly haunt
Quick glance at the others
Who dresses to impress?
A round of pubs
(Down a drink in each)
Conversation
Flowing like the wine
But Onward!
Our new destination
A place to dance
Into the morning
Now homeward bound at 3am
A struggling loss of self control
The cold night air
So frosty on my cheeks
As they burn like coals
Did we have a good night?
Turn the key in the door
Off the light
Asleep before I hit the pillow
As always, comments suggestions and opnions are most welcome :)
Pete
Pete,
I reads well as a prose poetry but I don't have a clue
how it would work with music
What do you have in mind?
I'll be honest Celt, I don't have a clue either! :)
All the time I was writing this, I was trying to think of a melody, chord progression, anything to suit what was being written, but just came up stumped!
I might have to think awhile on this one, I can see that it would be perhaps quite a jazz-esque piece of music, odd timings and whatnot.
Cheers for the feeback!
Pete
I was thinking the same thing, Pete. But many a great song started out as poetry. (At least I think so.) You might just have to play around with the words a bit. Add a chorus, or even turn one of the verses into a chorus.
Just an example (and not a very good one), using your words and thoughts and mostly just juggling them around--I'm sure you can come up with something way better:
VERSE 1:
A closer shave
Some aftershave
Slight sting, but it's worth it
'Cause tonight's the night
I'll have a drink, and come home
With the lady (or two) I flirt with
CHORUS:
A night to forget
And we probably will
But nothin' left to lose
'Cept the pay-check in my pocket
And maybe my shirt
But I'll be sure and wear the good shoes
VERSE:
Table 32
At our weekly haunt
Grab a drink from the bar
Quick glance at the others
Who's dressed to impress
And who just admires from afar
A round of pubs
Down a drink in each
Conversation flows like wine....
(and so on. Sorry, I just meant to do one verse. Got carried away. Just take your good thoughts and imagery and put it into song format. You've got more there than you probably realize. Post again if you make revisions.)
Joe
