Week 45 - Another Day (First song)

I thought that had a TON of feeling!

Great Job!

If you want to, you should be able to go back and boost the db level on your solo to make it shine through. Other than that, maybe put some reverb of the vocals and a good "pop filter" will help.

WOW! I can relate and .....WOW!

Nice job, Geoo!

I'm afraid you've missed the point a bit here Geoo. :(

When I encouraged you to post a song, I meant worse than mine not better.

Now please pass the sauce, I need to eat my words about getting a bit tired of songs about struggles. Chomp, chomp, chomp.....

That was amazing. So much energy in your voice. I'm deeply jealous.

The darned song was good too. It seemed to have a good mix of stuff that was instantly recognisable but phrased differently enough not to seem stale.

Earlier on I promised you one "free" good post about your songs. But this aint it. The song stands on its own merits. You still got one uncashed favourable review. Thanks for posting it and doing an mp3 as well. :)

Geez dude, this one must have really struck a chord with you. The only thing I see is rhyming right with right, but it works out so well that I can't even say anything about that.

I'm with Tracker on pulling that solo out. I could just barely hear it, and the rest was so good that I'm sure it sounds great.

Thats a great song, great voice too, how come it's taken 329 posts for you to post something like that???

I'm a little taken back by all the generous comments. Thanks a LOT, it is really what I needed and its very much appreciated.

I really wanted to use some effects but I am still not to familiar with Audacity. I boosted the bass and put some echo and chose to leave it at that. When I increase the db level it would really distort the sound. Didnt try it on the solo though, that might sound pretty good with a little distortion.

I know what you mean about the rhyming. When I first wrote it, every single verse ended in the word MORE. I didnt even realize it until yesterday and when I did, I almost chose to scrap the whole song. So I thought that maybe ending the first two lines in each verse with MORE and the last two with RIGHT wouldnt sound too bad.

I've only been playing guitar since Feb, so I am not too good on the solo stuff. It really sounds pretty lame and doesnt compliment the song but it was the best I could do.

As for 329 posts, LOL, well I am a pretty shy person and I wanted to atleast be decent enough on my guitar to be able to sing along with it. Last song I wrote was in 1989 I think. The whole reason I took up guitar was so I could write again, so I thought it was time I got to it.

Thanks all
Geoo

Dang :D Thats really good,sure thats a first song? :lol: You have a great voice IMHO :D Reminds me a bit of The BLack Crows. Hope you will do a full version of this , its a mighty good tune--the dog

If changing the db level will distort it, remember that laptop speakers aren't that great. Also, there's always recording it at a little lower level then bringing everything up (I found that works really well, especially with my crappy mic...however, ymmv).

On the solo, you may find that it doesn't distort when you raise the DB level there. One voice is a lot easier for a soundcard to raise than several at once, so there's a good possibility that it'll come out sweet and clear.

Reminds me a bit of The BLack Crows

It really does. Maybe that's why I liked it so much.

Dang :D Thats really good,sure thats a first song? :

Well its a first song in GuitarNoise and first song in about 16 years. and thanks a bunch for the compliments. I love the Black Crows. One of the best concerts I have been to. I have several different styles I sing in. This one is tough for me cause when I am singing a low range its hard to dig in and get "scratchy"
If changing the db level will distort it, remember that laptop speakers aren't that great.

Its actually playing through my PC sound system which is a decent one, but not great. But its not the laptop speakers. Same rule may apply though.

I think the main thing is that dont understand how to work all the different controls. I have my Pre USB, my laptop, audacity, the guitar or mic, and I just dont what what adjustments I need to make it right.

I am going to borrow a mic this weekend and play around with it. A friend is going to loan me one of his. I think its a Shure.

Geoo

Hey Geoo
Well its a first song in GuitarNoise and first song in about 16 years
Ahaaa, I thought this song was far to good to be a first song. This is very well written, your rhyming scheme feels natural and there is no hint of forced lines. My only criticism is in the content. These lines:

Beauty don't last so long.
My attractions never been so strong
It wont always be that way.
Lets make it, another day.

On the one hand your asking to try again, but with these lines it feels like your blackmailing her with your old friend “Father Time” and you wont love so much when she starts to age (as we all do). I don't think that would score any points with her.

Other than that, well done. If she doesnt take you back you can always hit the road, with that guitar of yours and way you sing, you'll have all the girls knocking at your door :D . Outstanding performance 8) 8) 8) .
cheers
pb

ps I use a shure sm58, these mics are just great, they do pick up everything though, including all your b*m notes. Also it can be a bit annoying if there are other people in the house when your recording.

My only criticism is in the content. These lines:

Beauty don't last so long.
My attractions never been so strong
It wont always be that way.
Lets make it, another day.

On the one hand your asking to try again, but with these lines it feels like your blackmailing her with your old friend “Father Time” and you wont love so much when she starts to age (as we all do). I don't think that would score any points with her.

cheers
pb

Interesting observation Pbee. It bears out the point (that others have made elsewhere) that the same words can mean different things to each listener, depending on our individual experiences.

When I read those lines I thought he was saying "your beauty may have changed a touch but I love you more than ever". But that's because my wife and I have a combined age of over 110 and neither of us are as firm and spunky as we once were. But after a quarter of a century together I love her in ways that have developed and strengthened over time.

However, when I read it again, your reading seems to be the one that was meant. So, yes, that might get the singer a quick kick in the unmentionables! Tricky subject women's looks, it can get you into trouble no matter how you phrase it.... :shock:

Intriguing. :)

Beauty don't last so long.
My attractions never been so strong
It wont always be that way.
Lets make it, another day.

When I read that bit, I knew what was intended, but I thought "man, that could be taken the wrong way!".

Geoo,

Great work. As far as your playing, you're progressing nicely. I've been playing for years and all I can do is strum. A lot of good hooks in there, like the last line of the chorus.

The only real problem is the sutff above that Pbee's mentioned.

Great stuff, I was sucked in at the first strum! I like the way you sing as well, can't wait for an improved, "cleaner" version!

I'm looking forward to hearing more, don't be shy now, ya hear! :D

I have really enjoyed the analysis on the lyrics. It is amazing and informative to see the points of view. Stop here if you wish not to see the spoiler ie. the authors point of view.

But first. I went to my guitar teacher last night and played him my song. He seemed pleased but he showed me some ways to spice up my strumming pattern a little bit, suggested I use a click track because I got out of time a few times, and informed my that my song was Myxolydian (sorry for the spelling). He showed me what that meant as far as how to solo over it and gave me a lesson in modes. It was awsome.

Off we go

SPOILER:
Well first, the song is not personal experience. Its not a true event but rather bits and snippits of events from my life with a little bit of imagined reality thrown in. Ever convince yourself that a lie is true?? I can quite easily, so I retify that with not lying.

Anywho. The guy is in anguish. His bestfriend, lover, wife/girlfriend is leaving him. She's packing her bags and there is nothing left to this relationship. They have obviously been picking at each other for days, weeks, and years.

Through all this he is now pleading that, ya the kids are always crying and getting inbetween us but they will grow up and it wont always be like this. Yes, we fight about bills constantly but someday (if we keep at it) we will have them paid off and we wont have to worry about them so much. And its true that as people age beauty, or your sense of beauty, changes and you wont be beautiful in the way you consider yourself now. Yes, I love you dearly, but even love changes. But none of that matters. Lets just make it one more day, one day at a time, cause without another day... then there wont be any of us left.

When I started writing the chorus, I was trying to think of all the reasons that young couples split up. Kids break alot of couples up. Bills are probably one of the number one causes of divorce. The last two lines I thought to myself, what keeps a young man with his woman. Usually, it has something to do with beauty. But I wasnt sure what it was that a young woman wanted. What keeps her there so I asked my girlfriend. She thought about it and said that a mans attention or affection.

And wow, your comments and analysis are/were so welcomed. I think I learned more about songwriting in this song then I ever did when I was writing as an older teen in the 80s. Such a great resource..

Geoo

Chris wrote:
When I encouraged you to post a song, I meant worse than mine not better.

You're a riot, Chris.

As for the song. I like it a lot. Nice and simple, yet says so much, and something we can probably all relate to on some level. Nice work. Thanks for the read.

Joe